Naysayers in our Lives

     Have you ever had a really good idea or inspiration that you shared with someone else only to be faced with a look of doubt, scorn or negativity?  They couldn't possibly see themselves stepping outside their comfort zones therefore they look at others like they are "nuts" to even think about taking a risk.  They put their fears and doubts onto us and we oftentimes believe them.  These people are the naysayers in our lives.  They can stop us dead in our tracks, steal our enthusiasm and excitement and hold us back.  True? Only if we let them.....  :)
     Spirit speaks to us all individually.  Spirit also has a different plan for each and every one of us.  What may be presented to one person may be the complete opposite of what may be presented to another.  We are all unique individuals.  We have different personalities, talents and gifts.  To allow someone else's opinion to guide us is just that...  an opinion.  The real truth lies in what is good for you and only you and Spirit can know that.  Trusting Spirit and having faith in ourselves is the sure way to bliss.
     How do we do this, you might ask....  It starts with embracing all of who you are.  You are a perfectly perfect child of God who has been blessed with his/her own special gifts and talents.  Connect with who you are.  Believe in yourself and the messages being sent your way.  As we can not truly know for another what their path is, they can not truly know for us....  Trust your deep inner knowing and allow yourself to follow your divine path without anyone telling you "you can't do that!" or  "are you kidding me?"  Your life is between you and God.  Don't believe the naysayers that want to hold you back.  It's time to live your best life!
Namaste'

Note:  I feel it important to say, I'm speaking merely of following guidance for bettering one's life.  Taking the urges and hunches we get to go after our dreams and/or goals without letting others deflate our desires.  This is not to condone or excuse unsafe or unkind behavior for self or others.  Thank you. 

On Being Your Authentic Self

Definition:    
AUTHENTIC:  not false or copied; genuine; real

     Being authentic in your life means being bold enough to know who you are. It's about embracing every little nuance, quirk, talent, expression of love and sense of humor along with multitudes of other things that make you UNIQUELY YOU.  It's about showing who you are no matter what.  The honorable traits and sometimes the less than honorable traits!  :) It's about letting go of outcomes or trying to be something you are not for someone else. 
     When we love ourself enough to show our true selves, our life opens up in remarkable ways!  We start to attract people who genuinely love us for who we are and support our authenticity as being a beautiful thing!
     Have you ever been around someone who "sold" themselves to you as something they are/were not?  How did you feel when you discovered the true person?  Did you feel betrayed?  Did you still feel the same way about them?
     The truth is, sometimes we don't even know we are not portraying our authenticity.  Would you be willing to look within today and ask yourself...  Is this truly what I believe/feel/want?  Am I being true to myself and allowing the whole of me to show?  Am I worried that I won't be liked if I show this part of me to someone?
     Take a risk! Take a chance!  Who you are is wonderful, amazing, unique and beautiful from the top of your head to the tip of your toes and everything in between!
     Go there.  Hold you up!  Celebrate your personality, opinions and quirks!

     Namaste'
    

  

Setting Boundaries

    

Ah, boundaries...  The ever present dilemma.  What is a personal boundary?  How do I know when I need to set one?  What will people do/say if I start setting boundaries?  These are some of the many questions posed to me about boundaries.  Let's explore.
     The purpose of setting boundaries is to protect and take care of ourselves.  First, we must know that we have the right to set personal boundaries.  It is our duty to ourselves to uphold the quality of how people treat us.  We teach people how to treat us and it starts with boundaries.
     The danger in not setting boundaries is we may become angry, resentful, blaming, unhappy, confused or solitary.  We as humans automatically think that people should know how to treat us.  We feel everyone should think like we do and behave in the same fashion.  This plainly is just not true.  We are all beautifully unique beings.  We must honor that uniqueness in one another and know that people can not read our minds.  Setting a firm boundary in a relationship not only teaches the other person what is acceptable for you, but it allows them to love you in the way that makes you happy.  And in fact, it makes them happy as well to be able to honor your wishes.
     How many times have we said, "Why does he/she do this to me?"  The answer:  "Because I allow him/her to."
         I have often found that people are very good at boundaries in one or two areas of their lives, but sorely lack in another area.  For example, I was able to set boundaries easily with my immediate family and friends, but failed miserably when it came to the man in my life.  I would throw out the big boundary, only to back down once I was challenged.  I knew in my heart it was right, but based on my fear of ”losing the love" or the man himself, I would back down.  I would drop the boundary and let him walk all over me.  Ew!  I hate even saying that out loud!  But in truth, I was allowing the behavior therefore saying that it is acceptable.  People will test your limits.  This is how we learn how to coexist in a relationship.  What is acceptable to you?  How far will you let them go?  People will push and pull and slowly lean, all to learn what you will allow them to do.  It is up to us to teach them the way.
     Additionally, we usually have a fear involved with setting boundaries.  The fear may be so strong, that we will justify to ourselves the reasons for not setting the boundary.  I.e. I may let someone down, I may hurt someone's feelings, I may look irresponsible. They may get angry with me or dislike me.  Contrarily, setting healthy boundaries is actually saying: My time is valuable. My opinions are valuable. My life is valuable. I am valuable.
     Boundaries are not always about other people though. Sometimes they are about limits and allowances we set for ourselves. I met a woman once who had no boundaries when it came to answering her phone. No matter who called, be it a friend or a salesman, she would bustle to answer the call waiting or the other phone ringing. Sometimes she would interrupt a conversation 5, 6, 7 times for things that were of zero importance. She was so afraid of offending the caller or not "being there" for someone she loved.  Contrarily, she found herself getting so annoyed at the caller and sometimes even the phone! The person calling had no idea how often her phone had rang that morning, and it certainly wasn't the phone's fault! Whose fault was it? Hers... She was scrambling every single time to get the phone no matter what. It was stressful and annoying to her.  During a coaching session, she realized straight away that she did not have to answer the other phone immediately. That she could allow it to go to voicemail and she would promptly return the call. This is a personal boundary. In setting that one tiny boundary, 50% of the stress in her day diminished and she later discovered no one was "offended" by her new plan.
     A key ingredient to living a joyous life is learning to set healthy boundaries.   It's about being authentic to yourself and loving yourself first.  It's about evaluating what behavior is acceptable to you and what behavior is not.  It's a powerful first step in owning your life and creating the life you desire!
And so it is....