Thank You, My Friend

Thank you for “seeing” me, my friend.

Thank you for holding space for me through all my life’s trials. 
Thank you for your unconditional love.

Thank you for taking the good with the not so good .

Thank you for reminding me who I am when I have lost touch with that.

Thank you for encouraging my steps when I am weary.

Thank you for never doubting me.

Thank you for seeking to understand and not judge.

Thank you for your Love.

Thank you for being you…

I Love You J

Unconditional Love Means Letting Go

What is unconditional love?  The standard of society claims to love unconditionally, but do they?  Loving unconditionally means loving  UN-CON-DIT-ION-ALLY.  It means loving someone no matter what.  It means honoring the light and God love that is in each and every one of us regardless of their behavior or weaknesses.  It’s about loving someone for who they are not for what they can bring to us.  It’s about honoring another’s path and allowing them the freedom to do what is best for them not what we believe to be best for them.

         During my “Growth Year” (which I tenderly refer to a very difficult time in my life), this was one of the main lessons I learned.  Loving unconditionally is easy for me in most areas but difficult for me in the area of a romantic relationship.  I had met and quickly fell in love with a beautiful man who I thought to be ‘the one’.  He held every attribute I could name that I wanted in a partner.  I thought I had won the lottery!  I don’t fall in love easily and have a high standard for who I allow in.  I was sure that this was my reward for all the strife I had been through.

         Many months, countless amazing times and oodles of soul connection later, the relationship ended.  I felt like I had been hit with a 2 x 4!  This could not be happening!  But I was so sure!  He was my hero, he was my twin flame!  I could feel his goodness and love.  Paradoxically, what the relationship provided for him was a light on all of his fearful places.  Places within himself that he needed to heal.  He started to recognize these areas and saw the way his behavior effected me (and others in his life) and knew he had to work on this FIRST to be able to show up fully for a relationship.

         I mentally kicked and screamed my entire way out.  The idea of not having him in my life was so painful.  I did not want to believe that this was happening.  It just couldn’t be…  I subconsciously hung on for months hoping something would change.  But I later realized, that to love him unconditionally was to let him go with Love and not with sadness,anger or any other emotion.  It would only serve my Ego to bring up all the conversations and broken words.  It would only serve my Ego to attempt to instill guilt.  I love him enough to want what is best for him and if that is to not be with me, then so it is.  To love something is to let it go…  It is allowing personal freedom to those whom we love so they may find themselves and honor their own paths (no matter who they are in our lives).  I finally understood what that meant and I was willing to do just that.  Contrarily, I also came to realize this was the best thing for me as well.  I had areas in myself that needed attention and healing as well. The timing just wasn’t right... and I honor him for knowing this in the forefront. 

         He still creeps into my mind and I see/hear reminders of him all of the time.   Instead of feeling sad or some other low emotion, I smile and know that I was graced with a beautiful soul to assist me in this life.  For that, I will be forever grateful.  I then picture him encased in brilliant white light, I tell him I love him and I send him away.

I Let Go….

Letting Others Be Who They Are

    
     As human beings we are in a constant state of trying to feel safe.  We try to control things in our life in order to not feel pain.  We want our partners to say things we want to hear.  We want our bosses and coworkers to treat us a certain way.  We want our families to behave according to what we think they "should" do.  All in the name of trying to avoid pain.
     We believe that our way is the only way and when people don't do as we believe they should, we are hurt and disappointed.  The truth is, we are all different.  Each and every one of us think, feel and act differently.  We have unique ways of expressing our emotions, our thoughts and love.  I remember in my younger years, men saying to me, "Sorry if I don't say it exactly how you want to hear it."  I chose to not believe what they were saying because it was not the way I would say it.  I was being so unfair.  They were not me.  They did not express the way I do.  It took 3 men to say that to me for me to finally get it.
     What would our days be like if we just accepted others as they are?  What if we allowed others the space to just be.  How would our lives look if we lived in a place of unconditional love and acceptance of who others are?
     Our suffering would end, our pain would diminish and we would be peaceful.  We would be in a position to live in joy instead of pain.  The only person you can change or truly have control over is you.  I have often said, if a relationship is not working and you are expecting someone to change, change yourself!  It's amazing what comes about when one makes growth changes in themselves.  I have seen over and over again a ripple effect.  When the person is no longer playing the victim, but the victor, it has a magnificent effect- others start to change around you.
     I am by no means saying stay in an abusive relationship or put up with repeated disrespectful behavior.  Some relationships no longer serve us and are best to be let go of.  A physically abusive relationship should be left immediately.  This is more about letting go of thoughtforms of who you want someone to be and just letting them be that person.  It's about loving someone for who they are and not what you want them to be.  To love unconditionally is to truly let go of expectations and to fill yourself up with love!  What comes after that should just be a bonus!