Are You Needing or Wanting a Partner?

The Difference Between Needing and Wanting a Partner-

How to tell the difference between being secure in self or wanting a partner to fill the void within that you have not filled yourself.

 Needing your partner gives the “I can’t live without you” feel.

Wanting your partner gives the “I enjoy having you in my life” feel.

Needing your partner is “I only feel good about myself when you are around or giving me compliments”.

Wanting your partner gives “I feel good about myself all of the time”.

Needing your partner is “I will do most anything you say to make you happy”.

Wanting your partner is “I will honor you while honoring myself as well”.

Needing your partner is “I need to keep him/her happy or he/she will leave me”.

Wanting your partner is “I love you and if you need to exit the relationship, I will be ok”.

Needing your partner is “I can’t stand others giving you attention because it is attention that is taken away from me”.

Wanting your partner is “I love seeing/watching how others interact with you”.

Needing your partner is “I have very few boundaries when it comes to you”.

Wanting your partner is “My boundaries are the same with you as they are with others”.

Needing your partner is “Your goals and desires can come before mine because your happiness matters the most to me”.

Wanting your partner is “Both of our goals are equally important and we will work together to support each other”.

Needing your partner is “I am jealous”.

Wanting your partner is “I am secure in who I am”.

Needing your partner is “How did I get someone as great as you?”

Wanting your partner is “I deserve a wonderful person equally to what you deserve.”

Needing a partner is “I have a hard time expressing my authenticity because I am too busy making up in my mind who you want me to be.”

Wanting a partner is “This is me.  All of me.  Authentic me.”

Needing a partner is “I will adjust my morals and ethics to accommodate a space in my life for you”.

Wanting a partner is “I am strong in my morals and I will not be with someone who is not in alignment with them.”

Needing a partner is “I always have to look my very best when I am around you”.

Wanting a partner is “Sometimes I am not dressed to the nines and that is ok.”

If you discovered that you fell into more of the “Needing” department rather than the “Wanting” department, you have just unlocked a key element to your healing path and manifesting an emotionally healthy relationship.  What you have unearthed, is that the core need that is not being met is love within self.  If we don’t love ourselves, we will desperately seek it outside of ourselves and consequently cause potential upheaval in our relationships.  The key to aligning yourself to manifest a “Want” relationship is to do the work necessary to love and nurture yourself first.  This is where the magic happens!

~Kristen Brown