The Universe Working Behind the Scenes

"Everything in Divine timing" I always say.  When one keeps to his goals it will soon be apparent he is on track by the synchronicities that start appearing.  People and situations will begin to show up in your life to support you and your desires.  The trouble is, sometimes we don't know what they are until later.  Lately I have been doing some things in my life that I felt called to do.  Both things were way outside my comfort zone!  However, the calling was so strong I did it, fear and all!  It was so uncomfortable for me to step so far outside my comfort zone that afterwards I would be thinking:  "Why am I doing this!  This is so uncomfortable for me!"  But a voice inside always said to me,  "You will know soon enough.  Keep on keepin on!"  So I did and still do.  Both areas have to do with public speaking.  An area in my life that was historically the worst possible thing for me to do!  I truly cannot express how scary it was for me.  I avoided public speaking classes in college like it was the black plague and forget about even giving a toast at a friend's birthday.  I would have rather cleaned port-a-johns than public speak. No joke.
     However, with all that being said, I just KNEW that these opportunities were coming my way for a reason.  I knew someday I'd understand why these opportunities kept appearing in my life.  Of course, my ego would pull it's typical tricks and try to keep my fear high and talk me out of it.  But with all my studies on the ego, I was hip to it's tricks and I made a conscious decision to not let it win.  I realized how much the ego had sabotaged me in the past and knew that I had to actually go through with these things in order to strengthen myself and keep moving forward towards my desires!  I have since joined a public speaking group and have been on a local morning television show 4 times.
     Currently, I am working on my first book.  Last weekend I attended a Writer's Workshop hosted by Mishka Productions here in Phoenix, Arizona.  It was one of the most amazing weekends of my life.  Not only did I learn so much, there were sychronicities all over the place!  Way too many to count.  I just knew beyond a doubt that I was in the right place. 
     During one of the lectures, the editors were talking about platforming.  And building one's platform involves a lot of public speaking.  A-HA!!  There it is!  The whole reason why these public speaking situations kept presenting themselves to me.  I needed practice.  I needed to learn a new skill. The universe was setting me up, grooming me for what inevitably will come up later in my journey.  My goal/desire is to write a book, but what comes with being an author is public speaking.  So there it is.
      My intention in writing this article is to encourage all of you to listen to your inner voice.  Be willing to step outside your comfort zone.  When you know you should be doing something, do it!  The universe is always working behind the scenes on your behalf.  Sometimes we may not know the 'why' of it, but have faith.  There is a reason...
Peace,  Kristen Brown

The Quest for Self

"In the end, I've come to believe in something I call the physics of the quest. A force in nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity. The rule of quest physics goes something like this:
If you are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting, which can be anything from your house to bitter old resentments and set out on a Truth seeking journey either external or internal and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and if you accept everyone you meet a long the way as a teacher and you are prepared most of all to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself, then the Truth will not be withheld from you." Elizabeth Gilbert

When I heard this, I was in awe... I have been pondering a way to describe "my growth year" to the people in my life and when I heard this, I stopped immediately to write it down. It was one of those precise moments that I no longer doubt that God is speaking directly to me and sending me a message or answering a question.

When one is in ruin is most often the time that enlightenment happens. It took my entire world, ALL that I knew and could hold onto for safety to vanish in one fell swoop to bring me to my knees where I was humbled enough to get quiet and listen. What I heard and learned from all the teachers in my life was fascinating. All the realities about myself were revealed and healed. My belief systems morphed and transformed and my peace came rushing in like I never had before even while I had the physical world to hold on to and claim as safety.

Life begins, truly begins, when we learn Who we are. We heal our resentments, we release the chains of negativity and beliefs and we open our arms wide and keep them open to receive the love and grace that the universe (God) has for us.

Blessings to all who choose to begin this journey. It doesn't have to take being brought down to your knees to begin. Just merely 'being willing' to begin is the first step. ~KB~

Love Yourself First! (The rest is just a bonus)

Just when we think we have tried it all.  Just when we think this relationship is not going to change.  This person is not going to change.  There is hope.  Not only hope, but a sure way to transform your relationship into a place of peace in whatever that would look like for you.

I lived a good majority of my life looking at everyone else that irritated me or wasn’t showing up as I believed they should, as their fault.  Then I had the epiphany of a lifetime.  I was not showing up for me!  I was actually irritating myself!  Whoa!  What does that mean?  It means that we are a sure projection of self onto others at all times.  Not some of the time but all of the time.  However we feel about self or treat self is exactly how others feel/treat us.  When we can truly show up in a situation in the voice and behavior of pure love of self, do we get treated the way we deserve.

I’m here to tell you this is not something we have done consciously.  In fact this is an unconscious behavior and occasionally a deeply unconscious behavior.  Underlying everything, we have either a self love or a self loathing.

Here I was a fun, laughing, loyal person and friend but it seemed I was surrounded by people of lesser character.  Boo hoo, poor me.  Why me?  Why do I get all the crappy people?  This was my story.  After a whopper of a life shift happened, I got it!  Through my own coaching sessions and spiritual awareness, it hit me.  I didn’t love myself.  I didn’t believe (unconsciously) that I was deserving of this.  Huh?  Believe me, I was as fascinated as you might be right now.  I thought I did love myself… nope.  I was merely disguising that behind my playful, fun exterior.  What was truly going on was me trying to gain acceptance by being “that fun girl” all of the time.

I went inside…  I went deep inside my self and started doing the work.  I cringed at times.  I cried, I got angry.  But I got through it and came out of the ashes like the Phoenix rising.  Stronger, centered and more loving than ever before.  I no longer attract people into my life who don’t treat me with love and respect.  And if I do, they either don’t stick around long or they transform into a higher behavior.  I realized for the first time in my life…  I NEED ME…  I LOVE ME…  Everyone else in my life is a bonus!  And some amazing bonus’s I have!

Everyday, I stand in gratitude for finding myself.  Treating myself with loving kindness and honoring my beauty and integrity.

With all of this being said, the thesis statement is:  When we love ourselves first, when we connect with Who (the God inside us all) we are, we no longer “allow” people to treat us poorly.  But until we do this, we will continue on the hamster wheel of attracting lesser character to our lives.

Peace to you brothers and sisters.  Every journey starts with one step.  May you be courageous enough to take yours.  Namaste’

Always Come From Your Higher Self

As humans we were given the choice of free-will.  Essentially, our free-will is the choice to come from a place of surrender to our Higher Power or from a place of fear and ego.  All day long, in everything we do, we have this choice.  How am I going to react to this?  The problem lies in the place where we forget we have a choice and out spews the first thing that pops into our head which is oftentimes our ego screaming loudly in our ear.  The ego is designed to sabotage our happiness.  It believes it is keeping us safe, but in truth it is only keeping us stuck in a lower vibrating energy.

We have all seen the caricature of the devil on the shoulder of the actor and an angel on the other shoulder.  One is speaking words of Love and healing and the other is speaking words of fight and defense.  The devil is trying to regain power and the angel is trying to stay in peace.  Many of us, through events in childhood, have learned the way of defense and attack.  We have either to choose to say it outwardly or we merely just think the thought and don’t say anything at all.  Neither way serves us or the other person. 

We hear often it is best to take the higher path.  But why?  Why should I do that when I wasn’t the one being mean or rude?  I’m the one that deserves an apology!  Well, fasten your seat belts, here it is:

Because Love shines light on the dark areas and fear does not.  Yes, it is that simple.  When we choose to show up in a place of Love no matter what, the situation automatically starts transforming.  The issue for we humans is that we cannot always see the transformations immediately and our ego starts screaming at us to get our power back.  We HAVE our power when we are calm and centered.  Light and love always illuminates the dark not the other way around.

When we are in chaos with another it is like two Rams with their heads down battling to gain control and power.  Ego fighting ego equals no winning, no healing.  Eventually one Ram will tire enough to give up and let the other win.  But nothing is solved.  In human form, is this a true win?  Does the winner actually feel happy and satisfied?  Oh, yes, but for only a moment.  Because the Light inside him knows that nothing was solved.  That he merely won because either his words or his voice or his brawn was louder and that is all.  But what he really knows is now he is a bully and he is stubborn.  He may have won the fight, but the war is still raging on.

The only time we find healing in a situation is when one party, yes it just takes just one, to come from Love.  People are more apt to listen to a loving stance than a harsh one.  This does not mean that we don’t speak our truth and honor our desires, integrity or morals.  It only means we do it with love.

Everyone is Programmed Differently

"This sounds simple and obvious, yet often times we lose sight of the fact that our partner has completely different programing than we do. We expect him to feel about a situation the way we do; we expect her to respond the way we would respond. A wonderful practice for creating intimacy is to be curious about our partner. What does he think about this? How does she feel about this? Being in that open space of wonder about our soul mate creates the space for communication to seed and take root."                                             Orna and Matthew

When I read this quote I smiled.   This was one of my valuable lessons during my growth year.  Like Orna and Matthew state, “This sounds simple and obvious…”.  This not only applies to just our partner, but to all our friends and family.  After I came to this realization, I was thinking, “Duh!”  Of course others do not think like me.  Of course others don’t do things as I would do.  Of course others don’t necessarily show their love like I do, communicate like I do, rest like I do, have my same parenting skills etc.  This list could go on and on.  And the absolutely most remarkable thing about it all is:  How wonderful is that?!

How on earth would I learn new things?  How would I be able to stretch myself if we all walked around dancing to the same beat?  My world is full of colorful people.  Each and every one of them holds a special gift that I get to share with them!  I can be the recipient of the beautiful singing voice of one friend or the massive warms hugs from another or the poetic words from another.  One is magical in the business world.  Another is so patience and understanding of all man.  And the one who makes me laugh so hard!  What a gift to be around him!

I use to walk around thinking, “Well, ______ should have called me. Or  _______ needs to do this to be happy in her/her life. Or  Why can’t _______ handle that situation this way.  In hindsight I realize how ridiculous all of that was.  They are not me and who am I to tell them how to handle his/her own life?  I’m not sure to call this a lesson in Tolerance or a lesson in Patience or Understanding or just plain Enlightenment.  But whatever it may be called,  I now know that to hold such a stance is only disappointing myself.  People are not like me and I am not like others.  We are all unique and valuable just the way we are.  What a boring, mundane and predictable world we would have if we all functioned the same?  We all have our lives to live.  We all have our Divine paths and only we truly know what works for us.  It seems a hard concept to grasp, but paradoxically so simple.

Are you willing to entertain the idea that others will not always respond as you do?  Show love like you do? Make decisions like you do or communicate like you do?  To understand this is a door opening to greater awareness and personal freedom to you and those in your life.  It’s one more step in the progression of living a joyful life.

Namaste’

Lightworker By Amy Joon

Dear Friends,

I have the honor of knowing an amazing woman whose words are melodies and songs everytimes she speaks.  She has the amazing gift of piecing nouns and verbs together to give one just the perfect blend of truth mixed with metaphor.  I could listen to her speak for hours.  She could recite the makings of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich like it was a Beethoven Symphony.  For those of you who know her, you know what I mean!

In honor of my friend, Amy, and her beautiful words written about those of us who wish to be light and love in the world...

Lightworker

He hollowed out the thick of my trunk and buried in it a wardrum so the tribe could call the soldiers to battle.

We would assemble in the dark of the wood and bathe in the peace of the trickling light the sun hands down thru leaves and shades of orange, yellow, what's left of green.
We are armed with mouths of love.

Use language to dress the wounds of humanity.

Teach roots and reach people back into the center of themselves.
There will be bliss in the gentle of our intention.
We are soldiers of light in the army of love and our purpose will be to inflict billions with a connection to source that makes them dance in the rain- naked- or painted with flowers.

Because- life, it means to rest easy in our bones.

We can finally settle into a bartering of the everything everyone can need.

And breathe so very easy.
We came here to learn to come back to love- to teach togetherness- and live connection.

The limbs of our arms reach for the sky, the roots of our trunks anchor into the ground and we claim earth with our connection to the heavens.
Breeze blows thru the tangles in our hair...

We are naked in the space of eachother even when we are fully clothed for we finally- everyone- realize we are each the other.

Nothing separates us... Sets us apart. We breathe. Thirst for water.

Long to be loved and to nurture with our own breath...

There never has been any such thing as time or space.

Everything that there ever is going to be is THIS NOW. A blend of all realities…
And then the drum in my chest it beats slowly.
In our language of unspoken words we mime gratitude for this collective intention- realized.
Love is the space we hold to create ones safety with themselves.

We can only be responsible inside of our own journeys.
It is in our solidarity that we can stand- arms hooked- sustainably living off this land.

While we are in need of inner dependence we cannot master it without an independence that voids relying on any system or belief that other than empowers our war drums as the machine.
In this brotherhood of love, entwined by contracts- sacred- we have all agreed to raise the vibration by being the pieces of the collective whole…
If we stand back far enough- lose our need to take it all personally- choose to know that we have all been the betraye.r as equally as the betraye.d, the love.r as often as the love.d, the wound.er in addition to the wound.ed- the judgment can slip away- we make room for more and more love.

 We sleep happier. And then tomorrow morning, when we wake up- the Masterpiece becomes our integration.

We can dismantle the army of love and live as a world nation of Light….
It is time to live our Brotherhood.

If we’re all willing, we can re-ignite the sky and shatter the illusion of separate…
And remind all of ourselves- We are One magnificent Whole.

~Amy Joon 

We All Learn From One Another

I love how people are put into our paths for a reason.  I love how we can learn and grow our souls from each and every person we meet or have contact with during the day.  I love how the enlightenment of one can be just the perfect thing we needed to hear.  I’m fascinated how when one makes himself vulnerable and tells “his story” and the overcoming of it, how it can lead to a path of healing for others.

Lately, I’ve been walking around with eyes wide open.  I see and hear things like I have never seen and heard before.  By being fully present in the company of another and staying out of my head and my agenda, the answers come to me in the most amazing of ways.

Yesterday, I met with someone I had not seen in quite some time.  I was fully present and just allowed for the moment to flow gracefully from one topic to the next.  I had no preconceived notions or hidden agendas.  I was able to just “be”.  The conversations that ensued, the words exchanged, the validations and healing that took place from that conversation was worth a million dollars.  I believe the universe put this person in my presence for exactly those reasons.  I, an empowerment coach, became empowered!  We may be coaches and are able to hold space for others, but we, too, are human beings with a journey.  The places where I second guess or wondered about were answered in just over an hours time.

I remember watching the other person speak to me and being so fascinated with their story and their insights I didn’t even really want to speak.  I was so honored to be sharing space with such a growing soul.  One of my validations was how fascinated and supporting I am of other’s growth.  When I hear stories of overcoming life’s trials I am truly overjoyed!  We all have them, but it’s what we do with them that is so important!  I have always been this way and truly realized during those moments of connection how much I truly love fellow man and view us all as innocent in this world.

I invite you to honor your time with another.  Be open in the space you share.  Lose your defenses and protection and just be…  Invite vulnerability into your life.  By making oneself vulnerable, it allows others to be as well and it’s truly fascinating what you will hear and how it will heal.

In gratitude of the Divine and my path,  KB

When Someone Repeatedly Hurts Us

“When someone does something to hurt us over and over again, and we allow it, we are actually hurting ourselves.”  Byron Katie

  When someone hurts us repeatedly, the first thing we tend to do is blame the other person.  We gather our crew of supporters around us and we stand in our justification of our anger or pain.  All the while pointing the finger to him/her and how they need to change.  There is an old saying, “One time, shame on you, two times, shame on me.”  Once we state to the “offender” what they have done, it is then up to them to change their behavior, but only if he/she wants to.  If they decide not to, we then jump into the cyclical behavior of Pain and Blame.  Why won’t he/she stop doing that?!  What’s the matter with him/her?!  He/she must not love me enough!

Is it truly that he/she doesn’t love you enough or is it simply that you do not love you enough?  If a behavior continues with someone else, only WE have the control whether we change or not.  We cannot ever change someone else.  At this point, we must decide how we are going to handle this?

Historically, I have been the Queen of wishing for someone else’s change.  I felt so justified in my unhappiness.  I would talk until I was blue in the face hoping and praying that the “offender” would finally get it!  That he would love me enough to not want to hurt me anymore.  Boy, was I wrong.  You see, we teach people how to treat us.  We can tell them all day long what is acceptable and what is not, but the truth is only our behavior will truly speak for us.  We must be willing to lose the love or friendship or whatever, to not allow someone to treat us inappropriately.

Once I started working on self-love, this actually just fell into place.  Once I knew that I was fine with or without _____ , that is when I truly stepped into my power.  You must understand the word power is not used in the definition of control and manipulation.  It is used solely as a loving feeling for self that stops me from allowing people to treat me poorly.  I now take care of and protect myself in the same method that I would someone I love.  Prior to this, I was so worried over losing the love that I would put up with the disrespectful behavior of people.  On one hand I thought I was just being a forgiving soul and then I realized, that I could forgive their innocence but that did not mean I needed to stay in the relationship. 

So now my new method of operation is: 

1.      State my thought

2.     Have a conversation around it

3.     Forgive and move on

At this point, I know I have been fair in stating my truth.  I have given opportunity to the person to explain the behavior and I have forgiven.  If the behavior then continues, I now know that it is up to me to make a change.  Keep in mind, this doesn’t always mean leaving the relationship- it could merely mean changing something about the way I deal with the behavior.  Sometimes a small change in myself is all that is needed. 

In conclusion, love yourself!  Take care of you!  Be your own best friend.  Stop looking for love outside of you and be willing to walk away if someone is repeatedly treating you poorly.

Namaste’

When Someone Repeatedly Hurts Us

“When someone does something to hurt us over and over again, and we allow it, we are actually hurting ourselves.”  Byron Katie

  When someone hurts us repeatedly, the first thing we tend to do is blame the other person.  We gather our crew of supporters around us and we stand in our justification of our anger or pain.  All the while pointing the finger to him/her and how they need to change.  There is an old saying, “One time, shame on you, two times, shame on me.”  Once we state to the “offender” what they have done, it is then up to them to change their behavior, but only if he/she wants to.  If they decide not to, we then jump into the cyclical behavior of Pain and Blame.  Why won’t he/she stop doing that?!  What’s the matter with him/her?!  He/she must not love me enough!

Is it truly that he/she doesn’t love you enough or is it simply that you do not love you enough?  If a behavior continues with someone else, only WE have the control whether we change or not.  We cannot ever change someone else.  At this point, we must decide how we are going to handle this?

Historically, I have been the Queen of wishing for someone else’s change.  I felt so justified in my unhappiness.  I would talk until I was blue in the face hoping and praying that the “offender” would finally get it!  That he would love me enough to not want to hurt me anymore.  Boy, was I wrong.  You see, we teach people how to treat us.  We can tell them all day long what is acceptable and what is not, but the truth is only our behavior will truly speak for us.  We must be willing to lose the love or friendship or whatever, to not allow someone to treat us inappropriately.

Once I started working on self-love, this actually just fell into place.  Once I knew that I was fine with or without _____ , that is when I truly stepped into my power.  You must understand the word power is not used in the definition of control and manipulation.  It is used solely as a loving feeling for self that stops me from allowing people to treat me poorly.  I now take care of and protect myself in the same method that I would someone I love.  Prior to this, I was so worried over losing the love that I would put up with the disrespectful behavior of people.  On one hand I thought I was just being a forgiving soul and then I realized, that I could forgive their innocence but that did not mean I needed to stay in the relationship. 

So now my new method of operation is: 

1.      State my thought

2.     Have a conversation around it

3.     Forgive and move on

At this point, I know I have been fair in stating my truth.  I have given opportunity to the person to explain the behavior and I have forgiven.  If the behavior then continues, I now know that it is up to me to make a change.  Keep in mind, this doesn’t always mean leaving the relationship- it could merely mean changing something about the way I deal with the behavior.  Sometimes a small change in myself is all that is needed. 

In conclusion, love yourself!  Take care of you!  Be your own best friend.  Stop looking for love outside of you and be willing to walk away if someone is repeatingly treating you poorly.

Namaste’

Where is Your Focus?

Whatever you are giving your attention to is already vibrating. And when you give your attention to it, if you maintain your focus for as little as 17 seconds, you begin to include its vibration, whatever it is, in your vibration. When you see something you want, and you give it your attention, and you say yes to it, you are including whatever its vibration is in your vibration. When you see something you do not want, and you shout no at it, you are including whatever its vibration is in your vibration. In this vibrational world, which is everything, you are far more vibrational beings than you are verbal beings. You are communicating with everyone far more on a vibrational basis, than you are on a verbal basis.
--- Abraham

My thoughts:
I posted this excerpt because I find this to be 100% true.  Whatever it is I'm giving my attention to is what I manifest.  Since becoming conscious of my thoughts and the feelings they provoke in me, I've been doing several processes to change this in my life.  It wasn't too long into it (maybe a week) where I already started to see miraculous changes in my life.  These changes were so obviously different, I almost didn't believe what I was seeing/hearing.  I fell off my processes for a bit and started to feel the same downward spiral as before.  I thought, "Huh.... Is this really happening this way?"  So once again I put my focus on things I wished to manifest and I worked very hard to keep my vibration high.  And Bam! once again things started to shift immediately. 
Friends, with all my being, I invite you to try this.  Not half-way with half a heart, I mean 100%.  Stay away from negative thinking.  Question your thoughts.  Stay mentally out of others business.  Focus on what you DO want not on what you don't. 
Please feel free to contact me with any wonderful shifts you discover!
Peace,  Kristen

Create or Tend to Your Altar

It’s important to have personal space where you can pray and meditate.  This doesn’t need to be a formal location, just someplace where you feel comfortable and can close your eyes without distraction.  It can even be the corner of a room used for other purposes.

            Creating an altar in this sacred space will inspire you to meditate.  Use a flat surface-a tabletop, for example, or a shelf- on which you can place objects that have a meaning for you or inspire peaceful feelings.  You may want to include items representing nature, such as feathers, shells or crystals.  It serves as a focal point for prayer and meditation, and over time it becomes imbued with deeply spiritual energy.

            Begin making your altar today.  If you already have one, tend to it by reviewing the things that it holds.  Do you feel guided to remove any of the items or place new ones on it?  As you work with your altar, notice the feelings that it awakens in you.  Connect with it as you would a dear old friend, and it will serve you loyally each day.

            Affirmation:  This is my place where I can let go, expose all my true feelings to Spirit, and honor my Divine path.

                                                                                    Doreen Virtue

My thoughts:

            Before even reading any literature on this, I had already created an altar of sorts on a shelf in my bedroom.  On this shelf, I had placed items that had spiritual meaning for me.  I dedicated a whole shelf to this and as I lay in bed (my  usual meditation place) I can see my shelf and look over the items I have carefully and lovingly placed there.  They serve as a reminder of Who I Am and to remain in connection with my Source.  I didn’t call it my altar, I didn’t call it anything really, I just went with my heart and dedicated a shelf to my spirituality.  Now, I call it My Altar!  J

            Are you following your heart?  Are there spiritual things you would like to implement into your life but are afraid what others may think?  I invite you to do what feels right for you.  If you would benefit from such a sacred space, I invite you to design a loving altar for yourself.  Staying connected to our Source at all times is a important part of making it through our days with peace.

Namaste’

Is it Difficult For You to Say No?

How good are you at saying, “No”?  Do you find yourself constantly saying “Yes” to avoid conflict or to please another when in truth the best thing for you would be to say no?  We pleasers of the world suffer from the Yes Disease.  We fill up all of our time with everyone else’s needs besides our own.  Learning to say no is about setting healthy boundaries in your life.  It’s not about being mean or selfish; it’s about self-love and self-empowerment.

One of the biggest areas people come to me to coach around is their personal boundaries.  I’m here to assure you all first, it’s perfectly normal not to know how to set personal boundaries.  It typically isn’t something that we are taught growing up.  That doesn’t make anyone wrong for raising us how they did.  Societies are constantly morphing and roles are changing.  It’s ok, to change and morph right along with it!

Historically, I was a huge people pleaser.  Where did this get me?  It led to me disappointment, exhaustion, sadness (which usually accompanies my tiredness) and resentment.  For one, we typically will expect everyone else to be pleasers as well and are sorely disappointed when we perceive that they “let us down”.  Two, we fill up our empty spaces with other people’s needs and neglect our own.  This is simply a lack of love for self.  We truly must love and nurture ourselves first.  That is the only way we can really show up whole for others and setting healthy boundaries is a great start!

I’m not here to say I am fantastic at this all of the time.  In fact, it is truly a delicate dance for me.  I am in the career of speech and empowerment and I love doing it!  But sometimes, I need (for my own protection) to limit how much I go above and beyond to make sure I am not compromising my own rest and personal time.

Here are a few questions to get you started:

1.                        Do I say Yes all the time even when it would benefit me most to say no?

2.                       What is the reason behind all my yes’?  Am I afraid to disappoint them?  Do I feel like I will lose their love if I say no?

3.                        What is the best thing that could happen if I set a small boundary (at first- for comfort level) and start saying no sometimes?

4.                       Am I willing to take this chance to love myself more and add more quality to my own life?

One of my clients struggled terribly saying no to her mother.  She started to cringe when her mother called because she knew she was going to invite her to something that she either didn’t want to attend or didn’t have the time for.  When she finally set her “no’s” in motion she surprisingly discovered her mother was totally supportive and loving about it.  Historically her mother kept asking because my client kept saying yes!  My client was so worried to let her mother down that she kept compromising her self over and over again.  When she started implementing her new plan, her relationship with her mother morphed into something even more wonderful than it was before.  The resentments faded and a new and greater relationship emerged!

Setting boundaries is really not as difficult as it seems and it will get easier as you practice.  Remember to say it with love and if appropriate, a thank you for thinking of me!

Namaste’

"I make sh** that folds!"

While in conversation with a client today she said this profound statement to me in regards to her lack of enthusiasm over her career:  “I make sh** that folds!” What a perfect title for an article about not living in our passion.   Of course, I laughed!  But, the context of this statement was centered around the fact that she is a professional graphic artist and is in a career that holds no passion for her.  She chose graphic art school because she is a talented artist, but to make money in the field she followed the path of designing brochures and pamphlets for companies.  This was ok for awhile but several years into it, she felt bored, non-stimulated and work became tedious.

What really spoke to her was the medical profession.  She longed for a career in nursing.  She spoke on and on to me about how she would feel “caring for others”.  Those 3 words were spoken over and over again.  I don’t think she even realized how many times she said it.  What felt good on her lips and in her heart was “caring for others”.  My client has 2 wonderful young children, a husband and a very busy life, but she understood the importance of enjoying her working and living her passion so she decided to go for it!  She worked very hard to get her prerequisite courses finished and has just applied to the nursing school at ASU.

I could feel the peace and excitement all around her today.  I could see how beautifully this was all falling into place and how soon, she would be working in a career that spoke passionately to her.  I loved hearing her story and I know she will be one awesome RN!  When we choose a career centered around something that moves us, work can seem like play!

Is there something in your life that speaks passionately to you?  Is there something that seems to be calling your name?  Are you willing to at least explore this area?  Are you willing to take it just one little step further and investigate this passion that is calling to you?  You have all the power within to change your world!  Is it time?

Go explore!

Video~ Quotes from A Coure in Miracles

A lovely video to remind us Who we are~  Peace.

http://www.flickspire.com/m/share_this/courseinmiracles

Divine Perfection of the Universe

A year and a half ago, I was put into (what appeared to be at the time) an almost unrecoverable situation.  It was one of those times in life that one can hardly keep themselves afloat much less anything else in his/her life.  Everything in my world was turned upside and shaken until there wasn’t one crumb left of what I perceived as “normal” in my life.  My 100 year old oak tree roots were ripped from my stable ground as simply as a new weed growing in a garden.  I was thrown into a whirling tornado with hardly even a glance at my solid Earth.  My heart was broken, my home threatened, my children’s well-being rocked and my faith tested beyond belief.

          But through this all, I kept one thing in my mind…  This is happening “for me” not “to me”.  When life got tough in the past, there was always a beautiful rainbow to follow.  I knew this, and I grasped a hold of that with my feeble grasp and I wouldn’t let go for anything!  I’m not here to say it was perfectly easy…  I lost a lot of weight, I was beyond depressed and scared to death!  But my faith, my unwavering faith in God and the Universe steadied my ship and allowed me just enough peace to move forward with grace and hope.  I kept one hand on God, no matter what…

          Here it is a year and a half later and I am stronger and secured with deeper roots than I even had before.  I am joyful, peaceful and most of all I have grown like I couldn’t have imagined possible!  Sometimes God will do for us what we are unable to do for ourselves.  There is Divinity in everything that happens to us.  Everything… 

          The magic and miracles that have appeared in my life since then are too many to count!  I have often heard people saying after having survived life-altering events how they are actually grateful that it happened.  I understand this.  When one is brought to his/her knees that is when we truly get in touch with our Higher Selves and start to actually listen.  Before this time, we feel like we have everything in control when in truth, we really have no control.

           I encourage anyone who reads this that may be going through a difficult time in his/her life…  Get quiet, release, allow your Higher Power to work through and with you.  Rest in the truth that you are not alone.  You are loved and being guided to your joy.  Sometimes the house needs to be torn down and remodeled for this to happen.  But it can not happen without us letting go…  Are you standing in your own way?  Are you fighting “What Is”?  We can not change “What Is”- we can only accept it and move on with renewed strength, tenacity and Love!

          Blessings to all,  KB

Be Ready for Your Divine Messages

On any given day, in any given moment, something could happen that opens up for you an entirely new path. Be still, be alert, be ready.     Marianne Williamson

In my moments of quiet: quiet mind, relaxed thoughts, beingness, that is when I hear the messages being sent my way.  Sometimes they are great AH-HA’s and sometimes they are little, Ohhhhhhh’s…  Everytime this happens, I think, you see, Kristen, you are quiet and you heard.  It is those still moments that our minds are open to allow all that Source wants for us to come in.  I get so excited and happy when this happens!

Now… maintaining that space in the happenings of everyday life, isn’t always that simple.  But I strive everyday to get back to that place of peace inside my head and heart.  Whether I have slowly ambled away or I have been jerked to the side by some sudden event, I now realize immediately- this does not feel good, I can not “think” clearly and I must find my center or I will be no good for anyone, especially myself.  Depending upon the enormity of the situation, it may take a day for me to get out of thoughts and back into the present.  But what is most important is that I strive to get back to the place of my center.

Our thoughts about past and future are merely clutter to our lives and disturbing to our connection to Source (God, Universe, What Is).  Are you willing to filter through the clutter, find your center and become a clear receiver for your Divine messages?   All it takes is to be willing…  And as always the universe is there to guide you to your desires. 

Namaste’

Projection Part 2: Are You a Projector?

     The flip side of being the recipient of projection is being the projector!  This is when we subconsciously project onto others our guilt feelings.  If you discover this about yourself, rejoice!  I know that sounds funny, but you have just opened up a whole new space of awareness and healing for yourself!  Discovering areas that need improvement is a good thing!  Isn’t it true that you want to show up in the world the best way you can?  Well, this is how.

         So with that being said, if you find yourself projecting your own attributes, thoughts or emotions onto someone else, good for you!  You have just opened up a brand new door into self-discovery.  Now is the time to get real and honest with self and allow yourself to morph into the person you truly want to be.

         For instance, if you are calling someone else “selfish”, stop for a moment and ponder, “Am I selfish?”  Is this my own guilt throwing this onto someone else?  Now, let’s say you answer yes.  Bravo!  I commend you for your personal honesty!  At this point you decide:  Is this how I want to be?  How can I attract people who aren’t selfish into my life if I am?  Do I like selfish people?  How am I going to change this?

         You have just started yourself on a beautiful path of enlightenment and growth!  We are all human.  We all have our wonderful traits as well as our shortcomings.  It’s ok, to not be perfect.  It’s ok to be human, but it’s even better to want to show up in the world as the best  person we can be at any given moment. 

         Namaste’ 

        

Projection Part 1: When Someone Projects Onto You

Psychological projection or projection bias is a psychological defense mechanism where a person unconsciously denies his or her own attributes, thoughts, and emotions, which are then ascribed to the outside world, such as to other people. Thus, projection involves imagining or projecting the belief that others have those feelings.

             We hear this phrasing used so often these days.  Projection this and projection that.  The truth is, it’s a very real defense mechanism that the subconscious mind uses in order to avoid its own shortcomings etc.  Have you ever been in a situation where someone calls you something that is so far off of who you are?  Do you just look at them and think, who are you talking about?

         Before I came to understand the full workings of projection, I use to believe what others were saying.  I would take it in and try to change something that was not even mine. Ironically, it wouldn’t work, because it wasn’t mine to begin with.  As time went on and my awareness and education expanded, I am now more capable of spotting this and I make a conscious effort to not “own” anything that is not mine.

         When I recognize someone projecting onto me, I stay as fully open as I can (because sometimes it could be my behavior) and as the words come up, I evaluate each statement and I only take accountability for what is mine.  I actually had this happen last night.  The person I was dealing with last night had so much personal guilt over a situation that she attempted to try to put that on me.  What she was feeling inside, she started blaming me for.  It’s difficult not to get upset when someone “sees” you so differently from who you are, but if you remember they are subconsciously doing it, maybe your approach and understanding of the situation will diffuse heavy emotion from creeping in and clouding up the situation.

         The key is to stay rational. Allow them to speak and then calmly say something like,  “That is not mine.  I believe you are speaking from your own place.  Please don’t attempt to put that on me.”  If you are dealing with a somewhat rational person, and you can remain calm, that will usually do the trick!  Because deep inside they know it’s not truly you, it’s them.

         This was something that took me awhile to get good at.  I’m by no means a master, but when I can come from a clear place of knowing and peace, I immediately recognize what is mine and what is not.  It takes strength and confidence to stand behind yourself and it takes peace and calm to diffuse a situation, allow the truth to surface and let the healing begin.   J

        

What is Sadness Telling You?

What is sadness?  Have you questioned your sadness?  Where is the beginning of it and where is it’s end?  Sadness is merely an emotion telling you that something is missing.  It’s a signal to go inside and find that empty space and fill it up.

Sometimes I find myself sad for what I perceived for no apparent reason.  I decided to look a little further, go deeper and uncover the beginning of this sadness.  I’m not speaking about sadness over a death or something momentous in our lives, just a routine moment of sadness that we all encounter at one time or another.

When I take a moment to self-reflect, to go deeper into the sadness, I am usually quite surprised by what comes from that.  First, I discover that my reason is not as big or strong as this emotion feels.  Secondly, I find that by brushing away the dirt (the surrounding thoughts) that accompany my sadness, fresh light is brought unto it and the heavy emotion starts to fade.

Are you a person that finds yourself sad from time to time for some unbeknownst reason?  Are you willing to take a moment and look further?  I believe you can find your peace just under the surface.  It’s not far, it’s just one layer beyond the sadness.  Remember, we are what we think about.  Bring it all up into the fresh air, release the sadness and replace it with joyful thoughts that bring you peace. 

From my heart to yours…

John

We use to sit in his car talking for hours.  My soul connected to his at the sweet age of 17.  Two people who were not in an intimate relationship but felt one another’s goodness and love.  I remember always being comfortable in his presence and wondering why I wasn’t dating him instead of my current boyfriend.  He was the one I had the connection with.  He was the one that moved my soul.  The truth is I had met him through my boyfriend.  He was my boyfriend’s friend and that was a place I would not go.

Years and years pass… actually decades.  There are marriages, children, moves and job changes.  He lived in my memories as one of the most genuine people I have ever met.  I reminisced about those times with him with such fondness. 

        It’s been 25 odd years since I saw my friend.  Last night I had the opportunity to see him.  It was supposed to be 3 of us, but it ended up only him and me.  We locked eyes for 3.5 hours and talked like no time had passed at all.  My soul linked right up to his like it always had done.  There was so much to say- so much to catch up on.  Why was it that I really didn’t even have to speak, but just stare at him and share his energy?  It was as though no words needed to be said, but were said anyway.  How is it that I could see him after so many years and feel so perfectly comfortable?  It was as if my soul immediately recognized his and was jumping for joy at the same time feeling safe and secure.

        After my boyfriend and I broke up, I was broken hearted.  My friend and I would go out and do things, but it was in the friend way.  One night he asked my permission to kiss me.  I said, yes and he did.  Although it was only a slow little peck on the lips, to this day it remains the sweetest kiss I have ever received.  I remember seeing him sit back in the driver’s seat and look at me and whisper, “Wow…”.  Nothing more, nothing less…  Just “Wow…”.  It was the first time in my life I had truly felt seen, heard and felt for who I truly was/am.

Last night, I had the same feeling from him.  I thought, wow, he still “sees” me…  Even through all the stories of my life’s trials, he still sees me…

John, I am forever grateful to have you reappear in my life.  For whatever reason, for however long…  You are so beautiful in mind, body and Spirit.    Thank you…

My TV Segment- Feb. 14, 2011

      Once again I had the honor of speaking on a morning television show here in Phoenix, AZ.  Being that many of us wish to enhance our lives with a romantic partner but are struggling to find one, I wrote my segment on how to attract the perfect mate for you.  It's important to always remember though, that YOU are your first love and a loving partner is only a bonus.  :)   
     May you find the love of your life if you haven't already.  Peace, KB



http://www.abc15.com/dpp/lifestyle/sonoran_living/attract-the-love-of-your-life

Assuming What Others are Thinking

         When we assume what others are thinking we are setting the stage for drama.  We interact with them based on what we think they think about us when we truly have no idea.  Would you be open to the idea that you really do not know what others are thinking?  Would you be willing to throw out the thoughts that are only assumptions in your mind?  Imagine how wonderful it would feel to not be attached to what you believe someone to be thinking about you!

         One day I found myself wondering why I feel uncomfortable around a certain group of people?  Why is it that I seem to shrink in the company of them?  I meditated on this and paid attention to my messages and I got my answer!  Because I had a belief in my head what I thought they were thinking.  I attached to that belief and my behavior reflected exactly that belief!  I had told myself stories of how they viewed me and I believed it!  Whoa!!  Big awareness for me!  So I dug even deeper…

Why do I think that this is what they think about me?  How did I come up with that conclusion in the first place?   Hmmmm…       Meditation and prayer later…  Because that is what I thought about me!  Let me say that again:  I was subconsciously judging myself and projecting it onto them.  So what I was beating myself up over, I believed the world to be judging me in the same way.  Wow…  Wow… and Wow! 

It wasn’t until I had someone do this to me-  Assume they knew how I felt or what I was thinking- that I realized I had been doing that as well to that certain group.  So I decided that a great forward movement would be to not assume the worst.  In fact, I did the opposite!  I chose to believe I was very loved and accepted by them and Bam!  everything changed!

Relationships are all about us and how we show up to them.  If you find yourself struggling with someone, take an honest moment to go within and ask yourself, “How can I view this situation with Love instead of Fear?”  And then watch in fascination as “your change/love” transforms the world around you!

Namaste’