Everyone is Programmed Differently

"This sounds simple and obvious, yet often times we lose sight of the fact that our partner has completely different programing than we do. We expect him to feel about a situation the way we do; we expect her to respond the way we would respond. A wonderful practice for creating intimacy is to be curious about our partner. What does he think about this? How does she feel about this? Being in that open space of wonder about our soul mate creates the space for communication to seed and take root."                                             Orna and Matthew

When I read this quote I smiled.   This was one of my valuable lessons during my growth year.  Like Orna and Matthew state, “This sounds simple and obvious…”.  This not only applies to just our partner, but to all our friends and family.  After I came to this realization, I was thinking, “Duh!”  Of course others do not think like me.  Of course others don’t do things as I would do.  Of course others don’t necessarily show their love like I do, communicate like I do, rest like I do, have my same parenting skills etc.  This list could go on and on.  And the absolutely most remarkable thing about it all is:  How wonderful is that?!

How on earth would I learn new things?  How would I be able to stretch myself if we all walked around dancing to the same beat?  My world is full of colorful people.  Each and every one of them holds a special gift that I get to share with them!  I can be the recipient of the beautiful singing voice of one friend or the massive warms hugs from another or the poetic words from another.  One is magical in the business world.  Another is so patience and understanding of all man.  And the one who makes me laugh so hard!  What a gift to be around him!

I use to walk around thinking, “Well, ______ should have called me. Or  _______ needs to do this to be happy in her/her life. Or  Why can’t _______ handle that situation this way.  In hindsight I realize how ridiculous all of that was.  They are not me and who am I to tell them how to handle his/her own life?  I’m not sure to call this a lesson in Tolerance or a lesson in Patience or Understanding or just plain Enlightenment.  But whatever it may be called,  I now know that to hold such a stance is only disappointing myself.  People are not like me and I am not like others.  We are all unique and valuable just the way we are.  What a boring, mundane and predictable world we would have if we all functioned the same?  We all have our lives to live.  We all have our Divine paths and only we truly know what works for us.  It seems a hard concept to grasp, but paradoxically so simple.

Are you willing to entertain the idea that others will not always respond as you do?  Show love like you do? Make decisions like you do or communicate like you do?  To understand this is a door opening to greater awareness and personal freedom to you and those in your life.  It’s one more step in the progression of living a joyful life.

Namaste’