John

We use to sit in his car talking for hours.  My soul connected to his at the sweet age of 17.  Two people who were not in an intimate relationship but felt one another’s goodness and love.  I remember always being comfortable in his presence and wondering why I wasn’t dating him instead of my current boyfriend.  He was the one I had the connection with.  He was the one that moved my soul.  The truth is I had met him through my boyfriend.  He was my boyfriend’s friend and that was a place I would not go.

Years and years pass… actually decades.  There are marriages, children, moves and job changes.  He lived in my memories as one of the most genuine people I have ever met.  I reminisced about those times with him with such fondness. 

        It’s been 25 odd years since I saw my friend.  Last night I had the opportunity to see him.  It was supposed to be 3 of us, but it ended up only him and me.  We locked eyes for 3.5 hours and talked like no time had passed at all.  My soul linked right up to his like it always had done.  There was so much to say- so much to catch up on.  Why was it that I really didn’t even have to speak, but just stare at him and share his energy?  It was as though no words needed to be said, but were said anyway.  How is it that I could see him after so many years and feel so perfectly comfortable?  It was as if my soul immediately recognized his and was jumping for joy at the same time feeling safe and secure.

        After my boyfriend and I broke up, I was broken hearted.  My friend and I would go out and do things, but it was in the friend way.  One night he asked my permission to kiss me.  I said, yes and he did.  Although it was only a slow little peck on the lips, to this day it remains the sweetest kiss I have ever received.  I remember seeing him sit back in the driver’s seat and look at me and whisper, “Wow…”.  Nothing more, nothing less…  Just “Wow…”.  It was the first time in my life I had truly felt seen, heard and felt for who I truly was/am.

Last night, I had the same feeling from him.  I thought, wow, he still “sees” me…  Even through all the stories of my life’s trials, he still sees me…

John, I am forever grateful to have you reappear in my life.  For whatever reason, for however long…  You are so beautiful in mind, body and Spirit.    Thank you…