Love Yourself First! (The rest is just a bonus)

Just when we think we have tried it all.  Just when we think this relationship is not going to change.  This person is not going to change.  There is hope.  Not only hope, but a sure way to transform your relationship into a place of peace in whatever that would look like for you.

I lived a good majority of my life looking at everyone else that irritated me or wasn’t showing up as I believed they should, as their fault.  Then I had the epiphany of a lifetime.  I was not showing up for me!  I was actually irritating myself!  Whoa!  What does that mean?  It means that we are a sure projection of self onto others at all times.  Not some of the time but all of the time.  However we feel about self or treat self is exactly how others feel/treat us.  When we can truly show up in a situation in the voice and behavior of pure love of self, do we get treated the way we deserve.

I’m here to tell you this is not something we have done consciously.  In fact this is an unconscious behavior and occasionally a deeply unconscious behavior.  Underlying everything, we have either a self love or a self loathing.

Here I was a fun, laughing, loyal person and friend but it seemed I was surrounded by people of lesser character.  Boo hoo, poor me.  Why me?  Why do I get all the crappy people?  This was my story.  After a whopper of a life shift happened, I got it!  Through my own coaching sessions and spiritual awareness, it hit me.  I didn’t love myself.  I didn’t believe (unconsciously) that I was deserving of this.  Huh?  Believe me, I was as fascinated as you might be right now.  I thought I did love myself… nope.  I was merely disguising that behind my playful, fun exterior.  What was truly going on was me trying to gain acceptance by being “that fun girl” all of the time.

I went inside…  I went deep inside my self and started doing the work.  I cringed at times.  I cried, I got angry.  But I got through it and came out of the ashes like the Phoenix rising.  Stronger, centered and more loving than ever before.  I no longer attract people into my life who don’t treat me with love and respect.  And if I do, they either don’t stick around long or they transform into a higher behavior.  I realized for the first time in my life…  I NEED ME…  I LOVE ME…  Everyone else in my life is a bonus!  And some amazing bonus’s I have!

Everyday, I stand in gratitude for finding myself.  Treating myself with loving kindness and honoring my beauty and integrity.

With all of this being said, the thesis statement is:  When we love ourselves first, when we connect with Who (the God inside us all) we are, we no longer “allow” people to treat us poorly.  But until we do this, we will continue on the hamster wheel of attracting lesser character to our lives.

Peace to you brothers and sisters.  Every journey starts with one step.  May you be courageous enough to take yours.  Namaste’