Owning What is Yours

         Relationships are an amazing union between two beautifully unique individuals that gives us the opportunity to grow, to evolve and to love. When someone we love and trust holds a “mirror” to us exposing our weaknesses, consider it a great gift! It is an opportunity to bring us in touch with who we really are and who we truly want to be. It shows us places in us that need to be healed.  It takes courage to look within and it takes vulnerability to admit where we are weak. Be grateful when someone who loves you shines a light on a weak spot.   Be willing to say, “Thank you for that, now I must do some work in that area.”  You will learn that it will assist your personal growth. It will keep your relationships authentic and your vulnerability will help to open that same door for another. It is a win/win deal!
          We are all human beings. We are imperfect and fallible.  We are here to learn, to grow and to evolve.  The power here lies in trusting yourself to know what is yours and what is not.   It’s about taking responsibility for your behaviors and habits.  Having the courage to look inside and admit your wrongs and be gentle and forgiving of yourself for you are only human.

This is a great way to start believing in oneself.  It’s about self-reflection and knowing inside who you truly are.  We all know on some level when we have behaved poorly or have acted out of pride or self-righteousness.  (The key word there is “on some level”).  Usually, our immediate response is, “Well, you did ____ or _____!”  From that point forward it becomes a power play.  Ego versus Ego.  When that happens, everyone stops listening and it’s almost impossible to move forward.  Sometimes it takes that mirror of love to reflect back our actions. Be willing to own what is yours.

          The danger here lies in taking all the responsibility.  It takes two to make a relationship and it takes two to break one.  We only have responsibility for our half.  Be willing to admit what is yours, but be careful of owning something that is not yours only because your partner is a good convincer.  When in doubt, go within.  Ask for some time to ponder the situation.  Take some time to deep breathe and get clarity on your thoughts and feelings.      

    It took me many years to figure all of this out, but eventually… I did! I use to take responsibility for the whole relationship, not just what was mine.  I would allow myself to be blamed for everything and be talked out of my legitimate thoughts, concerns, feelings or upsets.  I now walk through life trusting my feelings are real, valid and deserve some study.  I am willing to be wrong. I am willing to compromise. But I will not allow my feelings to be insignificant.  

We only have power over ourselves and no one else.  It’s a beautiful thing when we start to own our “stuff”.  Within a loving relationship, this usually softens the situation by 75%.  When we make ourselves vulnerable, our loved ones are most likely to soften and come down to that same level and they too are more willing to be vulnerable as well.  This is where true communication really begins. This is where things get solved.  This is where divine Love steps in and Ego stops fighting Ego.

Be willing to be wrong.  Be willing to compromise. But please remember, your thoughts and feelings are not insignificant. You are important and you are valuable.  Believe in yourself!  Trusting and loving oneself is essential in the harmony of a relationship.

And so it is... :)