When to Offer Advice

I read a quote once that said, “Wisdom is knowing when to offer your knowledge and when to keep silent”.  Being a woman of speaking, and speaking a lot, I pondered this statement for a moment and decided it was absolutely true.  It isn’t about what we know, it’s about when to say it.  If someone isn’t ready to hear what we have already learned or what could propel them forward with empowerment, it is truly best to sustain.  Everything in divine timing.

Sometimes, all the person really wants is an ear to listen.  They merely need to just get the emotions out of his/her body!  They are feeling a boiling point of  emotion and just need to vent.  Remembering this is about them and not you in key!

Being an intuitive and life coach, this is not always easy for me.  Oftentimes, I can see right through the issue and “know” what would clear it up.  But, that isn’t what people are always wanting/needing.  It’s a strange and difficult dance for me as it may be for you as well.  What I have tried to do is ask the person, “Would you like to hear my thoughts or would you prefer I just listen?”  With that one statement, I have gotten both responses.  Yes, please do!  Or, I just really need a friend/sounding board right now.  And Bang!  They got it!  The key is knowing that we cannot help someone who is not seeking help.  We can only offer our assistance to someone who is seeking help or give them the space they need. Otherwise, we are infringing on their personal growth and awareness and this can be a turnoff to people.  “Just trying to help” can backfire and leave the person feeling angry and resentful with us rather than peaceful and calm. 

Again, for me holding the gift of intuition, this was hard for me to learn being I just wanted to blurt out what came to me!  Though time and practice has proven to me I can be of more assistance if I hold space for my friends/family in just the perfect way they need it at the time.  Consequently, I feel like I am showing up better for people in my life and loving them the way that works best for them.  And when I can be a source of love and light for people, I am at my happiest.  J

Teach Your Children Good Decision Making Skills

As soon as my children were capable of understanding the difference between 2 whole and separate ideas, I started teaching them to make their own decisions.  This started when they were around 5 years old.  Example:  Would you like 2 cookies or would you like a piece of pie?  You can not have both.  We would talk about the pros and cons of both ideas and then I would figuratively step back and allow them to process the decision for themselves.  As their parent, when they do make their decision, we must be willing to hold the ground and not give in to them wanting the “other” choice if choice “A” did not work out.  This teaches them that even if the first choice does not work out, they will be “rescued” with choice “B” anyway.  And we all know that out in the real world, that does not happen.

As they got older and started to comprehend a deeper awareness I would encourage the children to get “quiet within” and to “feel” which decision would be the better one for them.  I further explained to them that the best decisions I made were the ones where I followed my inner voice, my gut, my intuition- whatever one may call our divine guidance within.  We all have had those instances where we said, “I knew I should have made the other choice!”  That knowing is our divine guidance.

In doing this, many times they have said, “I know what I should do, but I really don’t want to do that!”  Again, I stepped back to allow them to make the decision themselves.  And 100% of the time, when they didn’t follow their intuition, they wished they had!

*When speaking of decisions, I am talking about the random, simple life decisions that come up for children.  Ie. Whose party should I attend?  Should I tell so-and-so what was said about them?  I let them factor through the simpler things that come up for them.  For the extremely important adult decisions, I, of course, would make those.

The point of this article is to encourage everyone to allow your children to blossom!  Allow them to see what making one decision over another brings to them.  Teach them to own their own life, their own decisions and behaviors.  We, as parents, are in the job of raising children into high-functioning adults.  Adults that know the repercussions of certain decisions and adults who will contemplate choices before going with the easiest or the most fun.  Because sometimes the “right” decision may be the harder choice to make, but in the end it works out perfectly.

My 2 oldest children are now teenagers living the high school life.   We all know how high school is an incredible emotional growth period for us.  They still come to me regarding their decisions, but to watch them “feel” their way through the decision-making process is remarkable to watch.  I’m definitely not here to say they are perfect (nor am I), but I wanted to share something that I practiced with my children and that has paid off immensely!

I invite every parent to refrain from rushing in to “save” the child thinking only we know what is best (except in serious situations, of course).  Our children have their very own inner guidance system as we do and the best thing we can do is help them develop theirs. The best gift we can give our children is good life skills and healthy decision making is one of them!  J

Happy Parenting!

Trusting Your Inner Voice

    

This is a topic close to my heart.  I would not call myself a psychic, but I would say that the Universe speaks to me, as it does to all of us.  It is merely a matter of if we are listening.  It has been said over and over throughout history, my gut told me this, my heart told me that, this is what our inner voice is.  It is intuition.  It is Spirit moving through us and speaking to us.  It is leading us to greater things and forewarning us of possible dangers.  It is a gentle guidance and loving nudge.
     Many, many times in my life I have heard a message and hit the VOID button.  Either I did not like what I was hearing or I discounted the message because it just was not loud enough.  For me Spirit speaks to me in "whispers".  They are not literal auditory whispers, but small, quiet, peaceful messages that come into my awareness during my moments of peace.  When I was younger I received a lot during my driving hours.  The car was quiet and comfortable and I think the subtle vibration of the car lulled me into somewhat of a meditative state.
     As I got older and my car was full of kids most of the time, I lost that connection and soon learned the wonderful art of meditation and quiet awareness time.  I now try to stay in that state as much as possible to allow me to be guided through my life by Spirit.  The times I deviated away from it and let my Ego and mind chatter get to loud, I would start to lose touch with my flow and things would start to get crazy around me.  (That's another blog post!)
     This one is about being aware of that voice, those messages.  For example,  when I was a little girl, probably about 9 years old, my mom had a male friend who wanted to take me to the Ice Capades with him, his daughter and a couple other kids.  I had met him once prior.  Even though I loved my Momma so much and wanted so badly to please her, I said "I don't want to go!"  Keep in mind, I was raised with 4 brothers and a very frugal father.  The Ice Capades was something of a dream for me being I would not have had the opportunity to go within my own family, but still that was not enough to make me want to go.  My Momma kept asking me why and the only thing I could say was, "I just don't want to.  I don't like him."  My dear, wonderfully naive Momma sent me anyway.
     I went...  I sat in the backseat behind the man.  I DID NOT want to be there.  I DID NOT want to even look at him!  What was this feeling?  Why didn't I like him?  He was nice to me.  He gave me things.  He was a father.  I did not know what I was feeling and I was very confused.  During the drive, he asked me and several other kids in the car if we'd like to go to Disneyland with him?  A huge cheer went up and all the kids screamed "I do!!"  I sat quietly in the backseat and said, "I don't."
     After getting to the show and seating all the kids, he asked me to go get popcorn with him.  Being the well-mannered little girl I was, I went.  He sat me down outside Veteran's Memorial Coliseum for 2 hours and grilled me as to why I didn't want to go to Disneyland.  When I finally got to my seat inside, the lights flipped on and the show was over.  I had missed the whole thing.
     Some years later I learned this man was a convicted Pedophile and was currently serving many years in prison.  He had actually moved to Arizona to escape the same charge in another state, but it eventually caught up with him.
     My intuition had been warning me.  It was a soft message, but it was reoccurring and it was speaking to me loud and clear.  Danger!  Get away!  But being so young and not sure of what I was sensing, I couldn't explain to my mom what I was feeling.  A valuable lesson was learned from that for both me and my Momma.  When I later became a mother, I emphasized to my children (and still do) to "feel" their way through life.  When in doubt, get quiet and let the answer flow through you.  It is not always the answer we are hoping for, but it is always the right answer.
     Although this story sounds bad, it is something I consider good in my history.  There was no harm done and I do not blame my mother for not knowing.  She was doing the very best she knew how. But something I do want to emphasize is how intuition also tells us of good things!  The point is to get centered, clear away mind chatter and just be.  Spirit's messages are right there for you!  Listen and follow...
And so it is...