Facing The Fear Within

    
     I have witnessed many times in my life, people who are so afraid of a certain "something" that they stand frozen.  They function in their lives in that area, on the brink of panic.  They are so caught up in the fear part of their thinking that they leave no space for Spirit to come in and heal.  They do this to feel a sense of security and to assure themselves that they are in control and no one else.  A separation from Spirit and a false way to keep themselves from feeling pain.
     I was once dating a man who is a lovely, amazing human being.  I thought God had finally rewarded me for all my trials.  At one point in our relationship he stated, "I'm a fool for letting a woman take charge of my emotions." He also stated several times, "I will not let someone hurt me."  The statements alone were just fine, but the behavior accompanying them was very telling.  No matter how wonderful I was or how amazing we were together, he just couldn't "take the risk".  He was so fearful that it kept him frozen solid and alone.
    I was quite taken aback by all of this.  I had never witnessed something like this before.  He behaved so cool, calm and collected that I assumed he had it all figured out.  I had no idea what was really going on under the surface.  In my reality, he was in control,  but in his reality, his feelings for me were overwhelming in his life and he felt out of control.  He weighed the joy our relationship brought to his life against his fear and the fear won.  This was a very enlightening moment for me.  One, because I  realized that it's not what someone says it's why they say it, and two, it gave me incredible insight into the fears that lay deep within him and many other people.  I knew at that point that he had some big healing to do.  I also knew that no matter what I did, how safe and reassured I could try to make him feel, this was his wound and only he could heal it. 
     His statement answered many of my questions though.  It explained why he had such a hard time expressing himself and how even though I felt what he was feeling, he could not express it.  In his moments of clarity and peace, he would say loving, open and vulnerable things, but shortly thereafter, he would back peddle and try to diminish the strength of what he said.  It was very confusing to me because when he would say those things, it would resonate in my body as truth, but his behavior was contradictory.   I felt him and believed those were his true deep feelings, but after revealing himself, the wall would go up right away and I'd be standing with ironman.  He wouldn't try to flee; he just became incredible stoic and put on an "I don't care" attitude.  It was like I was dealing with two people.
     He later told me he does that to protect himself.  He said, "If I don't let anyone in, they cannot hurt me."  I felt such sadness for him...  I wanted so badly to rescue him!  To save him from a lifetime of loneliness...  But I cannot save him.  Only he can.   However, I did explain to him that we are here to love...  Our greatest gift from God is our capacity to give love and to receive love.  I felt his fear was such a tragedy being there was a huge world out there to give love to and get love from but he had built a fortress around his heart.  I also knew that his healing was a process and it would take some time.  Amount of time?  I had no idea...  He had to want it and want it badly.
     We can start our healing process at any time.  The process begins when we recognize our area of fear and bring it to the surface.  When we allow the light in, our healing begins! Where there is light, there can not be darkness.  I encourage everyone to dig deep today.  To look inside and find that part of you that is entrenched in fear and may be holding you back from living a life of love and happiness.  The very first step in healing is recognizing where we need to be healed.  Allow the fear to rise to the surface like a bubble rising from the bottom of the ocean.  Allow that fear to break the ocean's surface and to be dispersed into the universe.  Imagine the intensity of the fear diminishing as it blends with the universal energy.  Ask God (Universe, Spirit, Source) to help you heal and to replace this fear with love.  It's time for you to live joyously!  It's time for you to heal!
     And so it is...