Letting Others Be Who They Are

    
     As human beings we are in a constant state of trying to feel safe.  We try to control things in our life in order to not feel pain.  We want our partners to say things we want to hear.  We want our bosses and coworkers to treat us a certain way.  We want our families to behave according to what we think they "should" do.  All in the name of trying to avoid pain.
     We believe that our way is the only way and when people don't do as we believe they should, we are hurt and disappointed.  The truth is, we are all different.  Each and every one of us think, feel and act differently.  We have unique ways of expressing our emotions, our thoughts and love.  I remember in my younger years, men saying to me, "Sorry if I don't say it exactly how you want to hear it."  I chose to not believe what they were saying because it was not the way I would say it.  I was being so unfair.  They were not me.  They did not express the way I do.  It took 3 men to say that to me for me to finally get it.
     What would our days be like if we just accepted others as they are?  What if we allowed others the space to just be.  How would our lives look if we lived in a place of unconditional love and acceptance of who others are?
     Our suffering would end, our pain would diminish and we would be peaceful.  We would be in a position to live in joy instead of pain.  The only person you can change or truly have control over is you.  I have often said, if a relationship is not working and you are expecting someone to change, change yourself!  It's amazing what comes about when one makes growth changes in themselves.  I have seen over and over again a ripple effect.  When the person is no longer playing the victim, but the victor, it has a magnificent effect- others start to change around you.
     I am by no means saying stay in an abusive relationship or put up with repeated disrespectful behavior.  Some relationships no longer serve us and are best to be let go of.  A physically abusive relationship should be left immediately.  This is more about letting go of thoughtforms of who you want someone to be and just letting them be that person.  It's about loving someone for who they are and not what you want them to be.  To love unconditionally is to truly let go of expectations and to fill yourself up with love!  What comes after that should just be a bonus!