The Broken-Heart

Have you ever held space for someone with a broken heart?  And I mean a smashed, bashed broken heart?  For the past 24 hours I have been holding such a space for someone I love very dearly. (I will withhold her name for privacy) Her pain feels like my pain.  My chest hurts and I feel like crying.  Having been through a similar story in my life, it feels like I am living the pain again.  Sometimes we trudge along through our sorrow not really healing from it completely but maybe only healing half way.  It’s enough of a relief that we bury the rest under the shed and commence on thinking “I’m over that!”  and then whammo!  Along comes a situation that digs it all up again and the pain resurfaces.  It may not last as long but it feels just as real and fresh in that instant as when it was happening.

This article is not meant to be doom and gloom so hang in there!  As I’m holding my sobbing loved one in my arms for hours, I had several realizations.  One, I truly know how she feels and I know exactly what (and what not) to do.  Two, I made it through this and so will she!  Three, complete and humble gratitude for those that held space for me during my time.  (How difficult that must have been!) Watching and feeling her pain was so incredibly difficult… The raw anguish and wracking sobs brings tears to my eyes just writing this.   I wanted to go through every single emotion with her.  I was angry, I was sad, I was defeated and I was hopeless right along with her, but I knew none of that would help. I did not want to fuel her fire or give her false ideas. This was hers to go through and all she needed was my time, my energy and my love.  I removed any Ego thoughts of saving her or rescuing her (because we all know we cannot rescue people from their paths) and just simply held complete and beautiful space for her as she and many others had held for me during my moments of crisis and need.  This is all she needed.  All she wanted.  And I am honored to be able to give it back to her no matter how difficult it was/is. 

 I further discovered that when we are hurting the most, we truly just need to know someone cares.  That we are loved and supported as we navigate the inevitable painful events that show up in our lives. A good support system and loving words and touches go a long way.  I encourage everyone to not shy away from the broken-hearted.  Embrace them.  Cry with them.  Wipe away their tears.  Hold them close.  Sometimes having “no words” is the best thing.

Thank you for reading this.  It was a bittersweet article to write.

Peace to all,

KB