Forgive Yourself

 

 

Dear one, dear one,  you have only made a mistake.  Mistakes are part of the experience of being human on this planet.  A mistake does not mean there is something exclusively wrong with you.  It merely points to a moment in time when we were listening more to our lower self rather than our higher self.  In each moment in time, we get to choose our actions and words through the filter of love or the filter of fear.  A mistake is merely an indicator that (this time) we have chosen fear.

Many people float through life never recognizing or taking responsibility for their mistakes.  This behavior only serves the ego by keeping the person separated from transformation, growth and a new enlightened path forward.  Discovering and admitting our mistakes is actually a means to end our suffering.  Once we learn where we have detoured off path, we can correct our trajectory.  Without it, we would continue our patterned behavior which will continue our suffering.

The first and most important step after discovering our mistake(s) is to forgive ourselves.  Be willing to give yourself a full-ownership, heartfelt apology.  With this, we soothe our souls and teach ourselves that we are safe in our own care- that we are forgivable and lovable.  When we feel safe within our own care, we begin to trust our inner knowing and make better and better choices.

I remember when I finally humbled enough to admit to myself the truth about some past behavior of my own…  At first I felt awful and then… I felt joyful!  What I had been hiding from myself was the key to my spiritual evolution.   I remembered that I am human, fallible and forgivable and I gave myself a genuine apology.  Almost instantaneously, the heavy burden of my misstep was lifted from my shoulders.  I felt free!  Free to love myself.  Free to choose differently in the future.  And consequently, I felt motivated and empowered enough to go back through my “story” to locate other mistakes and release myself from the burden of them as well.

Dear one, we learn from our mistakes.  If we were perfect, there would be no reason for us to be here having this experience.  To beat ourselves up for a moment in time when we lost conscious contact with Who we are, is to create distress in our hearts.  It’s to perpetuate our lack of self-worth and to keep us rooted in conditioned behaviors and pain.

It is important to remember to be gentle and loving with ourselves on our path to self-worth and empowerment.  Give yourself the love your soul craves and remember...  it takes way more strength to admit where you’ve got wrong than to stubbornly refuse not to.

With Love,

Kristen Brown

What Is Self-love and How Do I Achieve It?

Currently, there seems to be a large mystery regarding what self-love is.  Most people try to compare the love feelings they have for others to the feelings they have about themselves and repeatedly come up short.  That is because self-love is mostly about “action” and not about gooey, warm feelings.  However, I’m not discounting that through appropriate action, you may very well begin to feel a loving, tenderness toward yourself. 

The “actions” associated with self-love are as follows:

Self-love is having compassion for oneself.  It’s about understanding the innocence behind our not-so-flattering behaviors and then being willing to forgive ourselves for making poor decisions for not having the confidence to act in a powerful way at that moment.

Self-love is about protection.  Not protection in the “armor our heart” kind of way, but in the way that we would protect those we love. It’s about being aware enough and confidence enough to refrain from putting ourselves in situation where we may receive bodily harm and/or emotional abuse.

Self-love is kindness.  It’s being as gentle with yourself as you are with the rest of the world.  It’s about honoring your soul on the same level that you honor your beloveds.  You are not different or deserving of any less treatment than anyone else in this world.  We are all created equal.

Self-love is standing up for yourself.  It’s about understanding your worth wholly and completely.  It is offering appropriate communication and boundaries when necessary to keep the “testers” in our lives in line.

Self-love is nourishing your soul with positive self-talk and actions.  It is about taking removing all demeaning, judgmental and harsh language we speak to self and replacing them with loving, supportive statements.  With this, we fill our own cup and when we fill our own cup we stop seeking outside ourselves in hopes that another will fill it for us. 

Self-love is personal dignity and respect.  When we honor and respect ourselves, others in turn will honor and respect us.  The respect and honor we give to self, is in direct proportion to the permission we give others how to treat us.

Self-love is learning to tap into the courage that has been lying in wait for far too long!  Courage that has the capacity to move us into our best life ever!  Courage we muster up when we know that our best life waits on the other side of our greatest fears and to achieve this, we must go get it!

Self-love has a remarkable way of making us more attractive to others.  It gives us license to personify our souls which gives others the opportunity to see us as we truly are.  Our authenticity in turn helps to build trust, confidence and intimate relationships. With self-love, our life begins to fall into place.  We suffer less.  We are more joyful and passionate. We respond to people from a higher vibrational energy.  Our egos deflate and we become better lovers, mothers, friends, siblings and co-workers. 

Choosing self-love is about finally saying ENOUGH to our doormat tendencies of yesterday and saying YES to a wonderful new life brimming with delicious new opportunities and amazing new people! 

Self-love is the Great Miracle Cure!

From Doormat to Sweet Empowerment

Hello All!  Here is the introduction to my book.  It is in the publishing process and should be ready to print in just a few weeks!  Yipppee!
~Kristen Brown

Introduction

 

My Dearest Readers,

After I experienced a deeply profound betrayal and upset in my life that started in August of 2009, I made the conscious, dedicated, directed decision to claim victory over my circumstance.  I set course to heal and not only did I heal, my entire life began to transform right before my eyes.  I learned how my false beliefs about myself and my past behavioral patterns were creating repeating, negative scenarios in my life.  I discovered that the only power we have is the power to change ourselves no matter what anyone has done or is doing to us.  I awakened to a higher consciousness, a deeper connection to Source and my soul’s calling.  I call this new awareness “awakening to self-worth.” 

Although I have always been a “seeker”, it was a distinct two year period of time that awakened me to the understanding of how we can claim our worth and personal power at any given time if we fully commit to do so.  Even though I continue to evolve every day, I call those specific two years “The College of Kristen” because not unlike academic college, they were a time of concentrated learning, struggle, fear, balance and evolution.   It’s important to know and understand that it does not have to take a major life crisis to break you open or redirect your path!  You can make that decision right here, right now!

I call From Doormat to Sweet Empowerment a spiritual guide, because I refer to a Higher Power often.  I interchange what I call this Power throughout the text because in my estimation, there really is no name that embodies all of what He/She/It is.  I will use names such as: God, Spirit, Holy Spirit, Source, Source Energy, Universe, Universal Intelligence, Loving Essence and Higher Power.  Please understand that with any name I use, I am always referring to the Superpower of the universe as I know and understand it… All Loving and All Good.  I believe we co-create our experience with this Energy to learn love, compassion and forgiveness and to live more peacefully while we make manifest our desires.  I believe that God/Source/Spirit is pure love and anything outside of that is illusion/fear/ego.  When I refer to our “Higher Self”, I am referring to the times we are connected to Source, our Light within, Truth.  When I use the term “lower self”, I am referring to the times we are identifying with our egoic, smaller mind - the fearful disclaimer that tries to sabotage our expansion and healing.  You can also choose to view the Higher Self and lower self as the proverbial angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other.  I don’t claim to be a guru or master of anything nor do I claim to know all there is to know about this Power.  I only know that through experience and trial, It is real and here to guide us on our journey.

Chapter One is the only purposefully placed chapter in this book because Connecting With [My] Divinity is where my transformation began.  In this chapter I share my personal story to better acquaint you with whom I am, where I’ve been and how my transformation from doormat to empowerment began.  After Chapter One, feel free to read the chapters in any order that speaks to you.  Honor your soul by doing what feels right and true for you.  This is your journey.  The concepts and ideas of each chapter were all congruent themes running at the same time during my healing.  I didn’t stop one to begin another.  Additionally, they are the exact same concepts and ideas I continue to practice and strengthen in myself each and every day.  Each concept aligns with adopting a new way of thinking, feeling, acting and being that is consistent and supportive of self-love and self-worth.  You might also notice that some material might tend to overlap.  This is because all the models within are directly connected by the same universal laws.  I believe without a doubt that when we love ourselves first, wholly and Holy, all else falls into place.  When our highest value becomes our well-being, our life begins to shift in the most fascinating, unexpected and wonderful ways.  The path to empowerment is all about changing oneself first in order to create change in one’s life. 

The stories and excerpts within are true life situations of my own, my coaching/mentoring clients, my friends and family.  All names have been changed in order to protect and respect the privacy of others.  This book was written to spread light, awareness and to promote healing to its readers.  Although I now passionately teach the wisdom and knowledge I’ve acquired, I continue daily to learn, grow and expand my consciousness.  Self-love and personal empowerment is not a destination; it is a way of living.

My invitation to you is to read the content of this book with an open mind and heart.  Be willing to discover, uncover and own what is yours to learn and grow from and discard anything that does not ring true in your soul.  You might identify with every word in every chapter or we may have been brought together to validate a change you are already in process of.  Whatever your purpose for being here is, know it is correct and perfect for you at this time.  You found this book (or this book found you) for a Divine reason.  There are no coincidences. 

The greatest step we can ever make regarding our personal well-being and healing is the first one!  I honor the seeker in you and bow to your quest to improve the quality of your life and relationships.  I will not give you the false impression it will always be easy.  The journey to empowerment will take courage, commitment and time. The fact that you are here, however, tells me you are ready to transform your life and reclaim your personal power, confidence and joy.  Taking the first step in any recovery is the hardest and you have already done it!  I honor and congratulate you!

In closing, always remember that life is a process.  Change is a process.  Be gentle with yourself while on your journey.  Stay your course, encourage and congratulate yourself often and most importantly honor yourself for the beautiful, unique soul that you are!

With love,

Kristen Brown

Why Me?

For the delicate hearts of the world, it can seem as though no one respects you or values your feelings.  That no matter how kind, generous, supportive or forgiving you may be, you are still exploited.  I understand completely because that has been my story of past and is something I still contend with in my own life from time to time (hence, Recovering Doormat).

What seems to take us so long to understand is that others may not be functioning from the same level of compassion or understanding as we are and in turn, we are continually blown away, hurt and disappointed when others don’t show up the way we do.  And then we continually ask ourselves, “Why does this always happen to me?!”

From my experience, I have learned that recovering from doormathood is a discipline.  A discipline based on strong personal boundaries derived from a solid self-worth foundation and a discipline rooted in taking care of one’s own heart even if it is not the popular vote of others around us.  It is learning to view the world and outside influences from a totally different perspective.  For example:

·        Others don’t always think like I think which means my perspective may not ever be seen or understood.

·        Others may not care as much as we care. Another’s highest value may not be our experience of the situation, but only their own. 

·        Others may be willing to blame us for situations gone awry rather than themselves. It takes an evolved soul to really go inward and say, “My bad, I’m sorry.”

·        Others may attempt to control us through manipulation and guilt strategies rather than healthy conversations.  Avoidance of healing conversation is not on his/her agenda.

Understanding our situations from a healthier perspective will indeed calm us and help us to see the picture more clearly.  However, at the end (or beginning) of the day, it is our responsibility to take care of our hearts first and foremost.  Our boundaries may rock the boat or upset the status quo; however, any behavior rooted in self-love (not selfishness or ego) is never wrong. 

Sometimes there is nothing more we can do in a situation, other than change our own behavior toward it and perhaps the very thing the situation needs is our strength to say, “No more.” 

Your Best Advice is Meant For You

Have you ever had a moment that the most perfect words are flowing out of your mouth and into the ears of the person in struggle?  It’s almost as if you have no control of what is being said, but dang! it’s so perfect?  Those are the moments that Spirit is speaking through us - using us as a channel, a vessel to deliver the most precious message to a brother.

Now, have you ever noticed that the best advice you are dishing out, isn’t necessarily the advice you are taking for yourself?  I’m sure if many of you were radically honest with yourselves, you would say… “Uhhhhh yeah”. 

Oftentimes Spirit puts us in situations where we are not only serving as a messenger for our brothers, but we are teaching and re-teaching ourselves the same thing.  We can say it so many times outward, but we don’t take the time to listen to ourselves (inward).  Some may say we are “too close to the situation” and this may very well be true, however, who better to know you than you?  We already know deep inside what would be most empowering for us, and we often choose the path of least resistance.

Forward Movement:  If you take a moment to notice the repeating conversations in your life and the message you keep delivering, I’m sure if you take a closer look, there is a place in your life where this advice is meant for you.  Yes, we all need/love/enjoy to have neutral ears to sound our “stuff” off of, but sometimes the best awarenesses come from within.  Be willing to find the common denominator in your life and then trust your words!  Your best advice is meant for you.

Peace, Kristen L. Brown

Are You Needing or Wanting a Partner?

The Difference Between Needing and Wanting a Partner-

How to tell the difference between being secure in self or wanting a partner to fill the void within that you have not filled yourself.

 Needing your partner gives the “I can’t live without you” feel.

Wanting your partner gives the “I enjoy having you in my life” feel.

Needing your partner is “I only feel good about myself when you are around or giving me compliments”.

Wanting your partner gives “I feel good about myself all of the time”.

Needing your partner is “I will do most anything you say to make you happy”.

Wanting your partner is “I will honor you while honoring myself as well”.

Needing your partner is “I need to keep him/her happy or he/she will leave me”.

Wanting your partner is “I love you and if you need to exit the relationship, I will be ok”.

Needing your partner is “I can’t stand others giving you attention because it is attention that is taken away from me”.

Wanting your partner is “I love seeing/watching how others interact with you”.

Needing your partner is “I have very few boundaries when it comes to you”.

Wanting your partner is “My boundaries are the same with you as they are with others”.

Needing your partner is “Your goals and desires can come before mine because your happiness matters the most to me”.

Wanting your partner is “Both of our goals are equally important and we will work together to support each other”.

Needing your partner is “I am jealous”.

Wanting your partner is “I am secure in who I am”.

Needing your partner is “How did I get someone as great as you?”

Wanting your partner is “I deserve a wonderful person equally to what you deserve.”

Needing a partner is “I have a hard time expressing my authenticity because I am too busy making up in my mind who you want me to be.”

Wanting a partner is “This is me.  All of me.  Authentic me.”

Needing a partner is “I will adjust my morals and ethics to accommodate a space in my life for you”.

Wanting a partner is “I am strong in my morals and I will not be with someone who is not in alignment with them.”

Needing a partner is “I always have to look my very best when I am around you”.

Wanting a partner is “Sometimes I am not dressed to the nines and that is ok.”

If you discovered that you fell into more of the “Needing” department rather than the “Wanting” department, you have just unlocked a key element to your healing path and manifesting an emotionally healthy relationship.  What you have unearthed, is that the core need that is not being met is love within self.  If we don’t love ourselves, we will desperately seek it outside of ourselves and consequently cause potential upheaval in our relationships.  The key to aligning yourself to manifest a “Want” relationship is to do the work necessary to love and nurture yourself first.  This is where the magic happens!

~Kristen Brown

What Underlying Belief is Holding You Back?

Each and every one of us have underlying beliefs about ourselves that serve as huge roadblocks in manifesting a wonderful, fulfilling life.  Way deep inside we have attached onto a belief or judgment (about self) and have projected that belief into the outside world about who we are and how people will perceive us.  Somewhere inside we feel unworthy or undeserving of good things in our lives and we sabotage ourselves by keeping this fear deeply hidden. The problem here is that it is our belief, not the world’s belief.  We have created this roadblock ourselves.  In moving forward in life with purpose and power, we must be willing to take a good, long, deep look at what it is that is stopping us.  We must be open to uncovering the sneaky little belief that is creating fear in us and that is keeping us frozen in place and stealing our joy. 

Recently, I have consulted with several people who have been holding themselves back from living their greatness by holding onto certain beliefs.  Examples of this are:

I have been divorced twice.  I am tainted and no one will want me.

I am overweight and I won’t be taken seriously.

I am not good enough for the area of town I live in.

I am weak because I have to use a blind cane.

I should have been married with children by now.

Each one of these people is amazing with excellent work ethic, integrity and morals.  However, they are holding themselves back through a belief that they have formulated in their own minds and have made into their own Law of Society.  In all three of these scenarios, what they were projecting was just not true.  Period.

When we unconsciously attach onto a belief, it is sometimes hard to recognize.  We are not quite sure what is holding us back.  We only know that we feel stuck and we are unhappy.  By paying close attention to your emotions and anxiety levels, you can identify what is causing your lower emotion and bring this belief up into the light where you can examine it, question it and eventually move past it.  This takes diligence on your part.  By really wanting peace and happiness, we must be willing to do the work required to move ourselves forward.  Once discovering the belief, change your thought into the exact opposite of the original belief.  For example:  My weight does not determine my self worth.  I am strong because I am using my blind cane.  By repeating the mantra in moments of distress, you CAN and WILL move past your block.  Awareness is the key to emotional healing.  In this, I wish you much awareness on your journey!

Many blessings!  Kristen Brown

Love Yourself in Order to Receive Love

What is the one thing that everyone on this planet craves…?  Love!  So often people search outside themselves for this love and end up still feeling empty and alone.  Until we can truly, unconditionally love ourselves, we paradoxically, will serve as a block to allowing love in.  We are actually standing in our own way of receiving the love we so desperately crave.  On some level we feel undeserving of such love and that makes it hard to recognize once it presents itself.  In this, I am not necessarily speaking of romantic love.  I am speaking of the gentle words, loving deeds and acts of kindness from others that we may be overlooking daily because deep inside we are loathing self.  We unconsciously cannot see our own beauty and wonder so we honestly don’t believe that anyone else can.

Have you ever received a compliment and thought (or even said out loud), “Nah, they don’t really mean that. There must be a hidden motive behind their words.”?  The shadow behind those thoughts is this: somewhere inside you don’t truly believe that you are worthy of such praise (love).  So you continue to block the love that is coming to you and your quest for love only perpetuates.  No matter what anyone says to you, you still cannot accept the love and are left feeling forever empty.  How does one move past this endless cycle of pain you wonder?

First, we must become highly aware of our self-talk.  The dialogue we have with ourselves can make or break our day and our self-esteem.  Anything that is other than kind and gentle we must toss out!  It’s perfectly fine (and encouraged) to recognize a mistake, but to dwell in it only perpetuates a negative feeling about self.  Allow yourself to be human and fallible.  Forgive yourself for your mistakes easily and give yourself the grace that God/Spirit/Source gives to us every day, all day.  Begin your day recognizing something kind, gentle or loving that you did and honor yourself for the love that you are.  Be willing to literally pat yourself on the back or speak a “Yay me!” when you complete a task or do something nice.  This may sound trite or just too easy because... it is that easy!  However, it does take a committed effort to dig yourself out of this cycle.  No one can do this for you. You can choose to be your own worst enemy or your very best friend.

None of us are an accident.  We are all here on purpose and each one of us holds valuable gifts to share with this world.  This is undisputable. No one person is more deserving than another. We are all derived from the same essence of love (God) and have built in specialties that set us apart from others. Look inside (and continue this always) for the beauty of you.  When you finally love and cherish the wonder of you, you will be open to the bounty of love that has always been there.  You will begin to resonate at a higher energy level and additionally, you will begin to attract even more love into your life!

With love,

Kristen Brown

www.sweetempowerment.com

The Six Stages of Recognizing You Are With an Addict

For those of you who may be questioning if your loved one has an addiction problem, I invite you to read what I refer to as: The Six Stages of Recognizing You are With an Addict. 

Being involved with an addict can be the most tumultuous and misunderstood situation we can go through.  I know because I have been there.  An addict will do most anything to uphold his/her addiction.  The addiction becomes first and foremost in that person’s life and all else will suffer because of it.  It is a very difficult position to be in being we can hardly understand what is happening.  The wonderful person that we met and fell in love with flipped almost overnight and we are left holding the remnants of how the relationship used to be and what we know is inevitably the end of that dream.

Usually when I write articles I am so inspired and uplifted.  However, writing this one initially left me feeling a little sad knowing that my brothers and sisters who will be reading this are on a strenuous roller coaster ride that seems to have no end.   But soon enough that sadness switched to compassion, because the truth is, there are answers to this situation and you can overcome this difficulty.  You can and will come out of this relationship healed and whole but the very first step is to recognize that you are indeed with an addict and then forge a positive forward movement from there.

The Six Stages of Recognizing You Are With An Addict:

1. Innocence-  We are innocent to what is happening at this point.  There are some signs and small red flags, but our innocence of the dynamics of addictions keeps us in the dark and not aware of what really is going on.
2. Blame-  We are starting to see a problem and we begin to dialogue with our loved one.  They may deny the problem or even blame us for their addiction of choice by saying things like:  If you didn’t stress me out so much I wouldn’t have to drink, smoke dope etc.  We naively start to believe on some level that we are a part of the problem or the cause of the problem.  This is simply not true.  It is not our fault.
3. Eyes Opening-  Even after several conversations around the subject we continue to see a pattern of behavior or we notice our loved one attempting to now hide.  The pattern is indeed there and our eyes are starting to open.  We think:  Oh no…  This IS what I thought it is.  He/she does have a problem that they are not admitting or wanting to overcome.  I see this clearly now. 
4. Searching-  This is the stage where we “think” we can help.  We begin searching for a solution to move this person past his/her addiction.  We are sure there is a better way or a cure for the problem.  We stop at nothing and do our best to find the solution.  But the truth is, until the person wants to get clean, there is nothing we can do.
5. Acceptance-  At this  point we have settled into the fact that there really is nothing we can do.  We’ve done everything we possibly could.  We’ve tried our very best to move our loved one out of their destructive pattern of living.  Nothing has worked.  This is a good time to understand the three C’s of Al-Anon.  *I cannot control this *I did not create this *I cannot cure this.  It is a sad time knowing that this is completely out of our hands, but at this stage, we have accepted the status quo.
6. Decision- It is time now for us to make a decision as to what we are going to do.  Do I stay in this?  Do I take my leave?  Who am I going to be in the relationship- an enabler or a courageous person?  What is best for me?  Most often when we get to this point, we have given up the “dream” of life with our loved one in it and we are in the position to move forward.  Although it is scary this is usually the best thing to do.  The addict most often has to hit his/her bottom before getting help and your leaving could be that bottom for them.  But we must make this healthy decision based solely on what is good for us, not in attempt to manipulate the addict.  Remember, we have no control over them.  Zero.

By attending many Al-Anon (relatives and family of addicts support group) I discovered that there are some things that we just cannot control and that is the behavior of an addict.  Yes, he/she will throw you under the bus.  Yes, he/she will lie repeatedly to you.  Yes, you are not a priority.  Yes, you are powerless over their addiction.   This does not mean, however, that you are powerless over your own life.  It means this is the time to take your power back and work on strengthening yourself.  The dream of a life with them may be over for now, but that does not mean you cannot build and support a whole new dream!

Many blessings and much light to you,   Kristen Brown

How to Handle a Tough Day

A Tough Day

Everything is going alright then all at once, Bam!  We feel sad, down or depressed,  perhaps even disappointed or angry.  These feelings are incredibly uncomfortable and we squirm in our seats trying to get them off of us!  But they are lingering… sticking… and it feels so gross.  What to do? How do we stop this downward spiral?

There is so much information about this topic out in the world today.  People will throw everything at us from take a pill- to you just need to get out more- to you’re just being a baby! What I will say is if we are truly honest with ourselves, we all have these moments on some level or another.  The good news is, there are things we can do to move through them with grace and come out the other side smiling again.

1. Vent it out-  Share your feelings.  Dig deep into your inner being and uncover the thought or belief that is initiating these unwanted emotions.  There is always a thought behind any emotion.  Always…  Be willing to dig that sucker up, look at it and feel it fully for what it is.  And then be willing to release it.  You have now released the pressure building inside, become aware of the troubling thought or belief and since you’ve uncapped the blinding, overpowering emotion of it, you are better able to turn the thought around and find your way back to productivity again.
2. Cry-  Crying is a natural pressure release valve that we are beautifully designed with.  Who doesn’t feel better after a good cry?  The hormones released during a good cry serve us perfectly.  Don’t be afraid of what others will think,  let ‘er rip!  Again, this is a great way to clear out the building pressure so you may see the situation, thought or belief clearly and plan a forward movement whether it be merely a change in perception around a situation or an actual action plan.
3. Be gentle with yourself-  No matter what topic I am writing about or speaking about, I always mention this.  Being gentle with ourselves is most imperative in moving forward in our lives with a healthy self-esteem.  And a healthy self-esteem helps us to make better decisions and plan clearly for our futures!  Allow yourself the “off” day.  They happen.  Sometimes we can stop them and sometimes we can’t.  You are human and you are in process.  It’s ok to have a step back while on your path forward.  To judge yourself, is only to put negativity where you are growing.
4. Don’t overdue it-  Allow yourself this time to express, but do not stay stuck in it.  Staying stuck in anything for too long is to become stale and worn.  We will become stagnant and our negativity will usually progress!  This is where our courage comes in and it’s the time for a little self-talk,  “Ok, I had a very bad moment, but now I am putting a smile on my face and jumping right back into the game!  I will succeed!  I got this!  I am strong and I will persevere.”
5. Be grateful- No matter what, we all have something to be grateful for.  In low moments, grasping hold of those wonderful things in our lives lifts us up!  It shows us that all is not lost.  This might not be where I’d like to be, but for now, I have this and this and this!  Celebrate the wonders your life does have and remember, when we focus on the positive in our life, our energy shifts and we attract more positive to us.

In conclusion, allow yourself an “off” day but do the work it takes to move through it.  You are ok.  You are human and you will get through this but you are the only person who can make this happen!  Many Blessings Always!  Kristen Brown

All it Takes is a Little Courage

I have come to know and understand the importance of courage better than ever before in my life. In my experience, courage ranks up there with faith and love. Although there are many levels of fear, this article centers around the fear of change or the fear of stepping into one's true potential and greatness. So often in life we hold ourselves back from living our true authenticity because we are afraid of what someone else will think about us or if we will be received well. I ask you this: If you knew that your authentic self was a gift to the world, would you go ahead and step up? Without an answer, I can know that you probably would!

After overcoming a dramatic life event, I discovered fear ruling my life. My self-esteem was in the toilet and my hopes and dreams were blown apart. Everywhere I turned there was some fear blocking my path! It was through my desire to get back on top and find my joy again that my courage emerged. Even when we are in our darkest hours, we still have that light burning inside. I took what little bit of light I still had and I kept feeding it until it grew larger and larger. Eventually I found the courage to take steps forward toward a better future. I began joining groups and taking part in outings that I would have shied away from due to my low self-esteem. I had daily, sometimes hourly, conversations with myself to encourage this movement. I treated myself gently and I said positive affirmations over and over again even if at the time I didn't even believe my own words! Miraculously, my life slowly, but SURELY, shifted, moved, twisted, turned and changed! My new life began to emerge like a phoenix from the ashes. It seemed the more courage I had, the more movement I initiated and the more movement I initiated the more courage I had! It was a win-win situation. Peace began to descend over me and I began to find my true joy once again.

Friends, life is not over when something big takes us down for awhile. Although we may get banged up a bit, our true beauty and essence is still there! The light inside can never be extinguished. It takes just a little bit of courage to get back up and once you are up, claim the magnificence that you are and continue your path forward! You have everything you need to manifest a beautiful life. All it takes is a little courage.

Kristen Brown is a transformational and spiritual life coach and author who has overcome and experienced many of life's unwanted situations. To work with Kristen is exhilarating and inspiring. Her ability to hold neutral space while helping one work through his/her fears and blocks is remarkable.

The Universe Working Behind the Scenes

"Everything in Divine timing" I always say.  When one keeps to his goals it will soon be apparent he is on track by the synchronicities that start appearing.  People and situations will begin to show up in your life to support you and your desires.  The trouble is, sometimes we don't know what they are until later.  Lately I have been doing some things in my life that I felt called to do.  Both things were way outside my comfort zone!  However, the calling was so strong I did it, fear and all!  It was so uncomfortable for me to step so far outside my comfort zone that afterwards I would be thinking:  "Why am I doing this!  This is so uncomfortable for me!"  But a voice inside always said to me,  "You will know soon enough.  Keep on keepin on!"  So I did and still do.  Both areas have to do with public speaking.  An area in my life that was historically the worst possible thing for me to do!  I truly cannot express how scary it was for me.  I avoided public speaking classes in college like it was the black plague and forget about even giving a toast at a friend's birthday.  I would have rather cleaned port-a-johns than public speak. No joke.
     However, with all that being said, I just KNEW that these opportunities were coming my way for a reason.  I knew someday I'd understand why these opportunities kept appearing in my life.  Of course, my ego would pull it's typical tricks and try to keep my fear high and talk me out of it.  But with all my studies on the ego, I was hip to it's tricks and I made a conscious decision to not let it win.  I realized how much the ego had sabotaged me in the past and knew that I had to actually go through with these things in order to strengthen myself and keep moving forward towards my desires!  I have since joined a public speaking group and have been on a local morning television show 4 times.
     Currently, I am working on my first book.  Last weekend I attended a Writer's Workshop hosted by Mishka Productions here in Phoenix, Arizona.  It was one of the most amazing weekends of my life.  Not only did I learn so much, there were sychronicities all over the place!  Way too many to count.  I just knew beyond a doubt that I was in the right place. 
     During one of the lectures, the editors were talking about platforming.  And building one's platform involves a lot of public speaking.  A-HA!!  There it is!  The whole reason why these public speaking situations kept presenting themselves to me.  I needed practice.  I needed to learn a new skill. The universe was setting me up, grooming me for what inevitably will come up later in my journey.  My goal/desire is to write a book, but what comes with being an author is public speaking.  So there it is.
      My intention in writing this article is to encourage all of you to listen to your inner voice.  Be willing to step outside your comfort zone.  When you know you should be doing something, do it!  The universe is always working behind the scenes on your behalf.  Sometimes we may not know the 'why' of it, but have faith.  There is a reason...
Peace,  Kristen Brown

The Quest for Self

"In the end, I've come to believe in something I call the physics of the quest. A force in nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity. The rule of quest physics goes something like this:
If you are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting, which can be anything from your house to bitter old resentments and set out on a Truth seeking journey either external or internal and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and if you accept everyone you meet a long the way as a teacher and you are prepared most of all to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself, then the Truth will not be withheld from you." Elizabeth Gilbert

When I heard this, I was in awe... I have been pondering a way to describe "my growth year" to the people in my life and when I heard this, I stopped immediately to write it down. It was one of those precise moments that I no longer doubt that God is speaking directly to me and sending me a message or answering a question.

When one is in ruin is most often the time that enlightenment happens. It took my entire world, ALL that I knew and could hold onto for safety to vanish in one fell swoop to bring me to my knees where I was humbled enough to get quiet and listen. What I heard and learned from all the teachers in my life was fascinating. All the realities about myself were revealed and healed. My belief systems morphed and transformed and my peace came rushing in like I never had before even while I had the physical world to hold on to and claim as safety.

Life begins, truly begins, when we learn Who we are. We heal our resentments, we release the chains of negativity and beliefs and we open our arms wide and keep them open to receive the love and grace that the universe (God) has for us.

Blessings to all who choose to begin this journey. It doesn't have to take being brought down to your knees to begin. Just merely 'being willing' to begin is the first step. ~KB~

Love Yourself First! (The rest is just a bonus)

Just when we think we have tried it all.  Just when we think this relationship is not going to change.  This person is not going to change.  There is hope.  Not only hope, but a sure way to transform your relationship into a place of peace in whatever that would look like for you.

I lived a good majority of my life looking at everyone else that irritated me or wasn’t showing up as I believed they should, as their fault.  Then I had the epiphany of a lifetime.  I was not showing up for me!  I was actually irritating myself!  Whoa!  What does that mean?  It means that we are a sure projection of self onto others at all times.  Not some of the time but all of the time.  However we feel about self or treat self is exactly how others feel/treat us.  When we can truly show up in a situation in the voice and behavior of pure love of self, do we get treated the way we deserve.

I’m here to tell you this is not something we have done consciously.  In fact this is an unconscious behavior and occasionally a deeply unconscious behavior.  Underlying everything, we have either a self love or a self loathing.

Here I was a fun, laughing, loyal person and friend but it seemed I was surrounded by people of lesser character.  Boo hoo, poor me.  Why me?  Why do I get all the crappy people?  This was my story.  After a whopper of a life shift happened, I got it!  Through my own coaching sessions and spiritual awareness, it hit me.  I didn’t love myself.  I didn’t believe (unconsciously) that I was deserving of this.  Huh?  Believe me, I was as fascinated as you might be right now.  I thought I did love myself… nope.  I was merely disguising that behind my playful, fun exterior.  What was truly going on was me trying to gain acceptance by being “that fun girl” all of the time.

I went inside…  I went deep inside my self and started doing the work.  I cringed at times.  I cried, I got angry.  But I got through it and came out of the ashes like the Phoenix rising.  Stronger, centered and more loving than ever before.  I no longer attract people into my life who don’t treat me with love and respect.  And if I do, they either don’t stick around long or they transform into a higher behavior.  I realized for the first time in my life…  I NEED ME…  I LOVE ME…  Everyone else in my life is a bonus!  And some amazing bonus’s I have!

Everyday, I stand in gratitude for finding myself.  Treating myself with loving kindness and honoring my beauty and integrity.

With all of this being said, the thesis statement is:  When we love ourselves first, when we connect with Who (the God inside us all) we are, we no longer “allow” people to treat us poorly.  But until we do this, we will continue on the hamster wheel of attracting lesser character to our lives.

Peace to you brothers and sisters.  Every journey starts with one step.  May you be courageous enough to take yours.  Namaste’

Always Come From Your Higher Self

As humans we were given the choice of free-will.  Essentially, our free-will is the choice to come from a place of surrender to our Higher Power or from a place of fear and ego.  All day long, in everything we do, we have this choice.  How am I going to react to this?  The problem lies in the place where we forget we have a choice and out spews the first thing that pops into our head which is oftentimes our ego screaming loudly in our ear.  The ego is designed to sabotage our happiness.  It believes it is keeping us safe, but in truth it is only keeping us stuck in a lower vibrating energy.

We have all seen the caricature of the devil on the shoulder of the actor and an angel on the other shoulder.  One is speaking words of Love and healing and the other is speaking words of fight and defense.  The devil is trying to regain power and the angel is trying to stay in peace.  Many of us, through events in childhood, have learned the way of defense and attack.  We have either to choose to say it outwardly or we merely just think the thought and don’t say anything at all.  Neither way serves us or the other person. 

We hear often it is best to take the higher path.  But why?  Why should I do that when I wasn’t the one being mean or rude?  I’m the one that deserves an apology!  Well, fasten your seat belts, here it is:

Because Love shines light on the dark areas and fear does not.  Yes, it is that simple.  When we choose to show up in a place of Love no matter what, the situation automatically starts transforming.  The issue for we humans is that we cannot always see the transformations immediately and our ego starts screaming at us to get our power back.  We HAVE our power when we are calm and centered.  Light and love always illuminates the dark not the other way around.

When we are in chaos with another it is like two Rams with their heads down battling to gain control and power.  Ego fighting ego equals no winning, no healing.  Eventually one Ram will tire enough to give up and let the other win.  But nothing is solved.  In human form, is this a true win?  Does the winner actually feel happy and satisfied?  Oh, yes, but for only a moment.  Because the Light inside him knows that nothing was solved.  That he merely won because either his words or his voice or his brawn was louder and that is all.  But what he really knows is now he is a bully and he is stubborn.  He may have won the fight, but the war is still raging on.

The only time we find healing in a situation is when one party, yes it just takes just one, to come from Love.  People are more apt to listen to a loving stance than a harsh one.  This does not mean that we don’t speak our truth and honor our desires, integrity or morals.  It only means we do it with love.

Everyone is Programmed Differently

"This sounds simple and obvious, yet often times we lose sight of the fact that our partner has completely different programing than we do. We expect him to feel about a situation the way we do; we expect her to respond the way we would respond. A wonderful practice for creating intimacy is to be curious about our partner. What does he think about this? How does she feel about this? Being in that open space of wonder about our soul mate creates the space for communication to seed and take root."                                             Orna and Matthew

When I read this quote I smiled.   This was one of my valuable lessons during my growth year.  Like Orna and Matthew state, “This sounds simple and obvious…”.  This not only applies to just our partner, but to all our friends and family.  After I came to this realization, I was thinking, “Duh!”  Of course others do not think like me.  Of course others don’t do things as I would do.  Of course others don’t necessarily show their love like I do, communicate like I do, rest like I do, have my same parenting skills etc.  This list could go on and on.  And the absolutely most remarkable thing about it all is:  How wonderful is that?!

How on earth would I learn new things?  How would I be able to stretch myself if we all walked around dancing to the same beat?  My world is full of colorful people.  Each and every one of them holds a special gift that I get to share with them!  I can be the recipient of the beautiful singing voice of one friend or the massive warms hugs from another or the poetic words from another.  One is magical in the business world.  Another is so patience and understanding of all man.  And the one who makes me laugh so hard!  What a gift to be around him!

I use to walk around thinking, “Well, ______ should have called me. Or  _______ needs to do this to be happy in her/her life. Or  Why can’t _______ handle that situation this way.  In hindsight I realize how ridiculous all of that was.  They are not me and who am I to tell them how to handle his/her own life?  I’m not sure to call this a lesson in Tolerance or a lesson in Patience or Understanding or just plain Enlightenment.  But whatever it may be called,  I now know that to hold such a stance is only disappointing myself.  People are not like me and I am not like others.  We are all unique and valuable just the way we are.  What a boring, mundane and predictable world we would have if we all functioned the same?  We all have our lives to live.  We all have our Divine paths and only we truly know what works for us.  It seems a hard concept to grasp, but paradoxically so simple.

Are you willing to entertain the idea that others will not always respond as you do?  Show love like you do? Make decisions like you do or communicate like you do?  To understand this is a door opening to greater awareness and personal freedom to you and those in your life.  It’s one more step in the progression of living a joyful life.

Namaste’

Lightworker By Amy Joon

Dear Friends,

I have the honor of knowing an amazing woman whose words are melodies and songs everytimes she speaks.  She has the amazing gift of piecing nouns and verbs together to give one just the perfect blend of truth mixed with metaphor.  I could listen to her speak for hours.  She could recite the makings of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich like it was a Beethoven Symphony.  For those of you who know her, you know what I mean!

In honor of my friend, Amy, and her beautiful words written about those of us who wish to be light and love in the world...

Lightworker

He hollowed out the thick of my trunk and buried in it a wardrum so the tribe could call the soldiers to battle.

We would assemble in the dark of the wood and bathe in the peace of the trickling light the sun hands down thru leaves and shades of orange, yellow, what's left of green.
We are armed with mouths of love.

Use language to dress the wounds of humanity.

Teach roots and reach people back into the center of themselves.
There will be bliss in the gentle of our intention.
We are soldiers of light in the army of love and our purpose will be to inflict billions with a connection to source that makes them dance in the rain- naked- or painted with flowers.

Because- life, it means to rest easy in our bones.

We can finally settle into a bartering of the everything everyone can need.

And breathe so very easy.
We came here to learn to come back to love- to teach togetherness- and live connection.

The limbs of our arms reach for the sky, the roots of our trunks anchor into the ground and we claim earth with our connection to the heavens.
Breeze blows thru the tangles in our hair...

We are naked in the space of eachother even when we are fully clothed for we finally- everyone- realize we are each the other.

Nothing separates us... Sets us apart. We breathe. Thirst for water.

Long to be loved and to nurture with our own breath...

There never has been any such thing as time or space.

Everything that there ever is going to be is THIS NOW. A blend of all realities…
And then the drum in my chest it beats slowly.
In our language of unspoken words we mime gratitude for this collective intention- realized.
Love is the space we hold to create ones safety with themselves.

We can only be responsible inside of our own journeys.
It is in our solidarity that we can stand- arms hooked- sustainably living off this land.

While we are in need of inner dependence we cannot master it without an independence that voids relying on any system or belief that other than empowers our war drums as the machine.
In this brotherhood of love, entwined by contracts- sacred- we have all agreed to raise the vibration by being the pieces of the collective whole…
If we stand back far enough- lose our need to take it all personally- choose to know that we have all been the betraye.r as equally as the betraye.d, the love.r as often as the love.d, the wound.er in addition to the wound.ed- the judgment can slip away- we make room for more and more love.

 We sleep happier. And then tomorrow morning, when we wake up- the Masterpiece becomes our integration.

We can dismantle the army of love and live as a world nation of Light….
It is time to live our Brotherhood.

If we’re all willing, we can re-ignite the sky and shatter the illusion of separate…
And remind all of ourselves- We are One magnificent Whole.

~Amy Joon